Vince was pretty useless, as he couldn't cook at all, so he would be in a panic every night as I came on duty, because there was no lasagne, or butterscotch pud, or brownies for the Il Padroni puds, and then I had to quickly do some baking, but mostly it was soup I had to do, and my ideas for this emergency soups were running out fast. Joanne only wanted to work in the pub, and the first night Joe told her that she had to work in the restaurant, where the action was a lot tamer than in the pub, she started a bout of shivering, teeth clattering, and convulsions racking her body, so Vince took her up to their room, and came back saying that she was too stressed out to work! But me, seeing the look of obstinacy on her face when told to help in the restaurant, knew better. When I went into the pub after cleaning the kitchen, there Joanne was, sitting alone on a chair at the counter, giving quite saucy smiles to all the younger men, as if she never felt bad.
On my next day off, Joanne had to clean the bar and the diningroom, as Lizzie was also off on that day, she now only cleaning the pub every morning. About half past eleven, when I was just leaving to pick up Lizzie for a trip to Dunblaine, my phone rang, and it was a near hysterical Joe, who asked me why neither the diningroom, nor the pub was done! My back was up immediately, as I had told Joanne the previous night not to forget that she had to do it, but I asked Joe why he was phoning me, as it was not my responsibility, but him also being a bit of a worrier, he then begged me to please come and help him, and I was not a happy cookie, as I really worked hard during the week, and my days off were treasured. So I went up to Vince and Joanne's room, and there was madam, who just had a shower, lounging on the bed cuddled in a big white housecoat, and very surprised to see me.But I was not Vince who treated her as if she was a piece of antique porcelaine, and told her shortly to get her backside into clothes and go and do her work, at which she started shivering again, and when I did not even lift an eyebrow, she suddenly started convulsing! Vince looked at me as if I had tried to murder his girlfriend, but I, being a scorpion, looked straight through her little charade, and told her that she had better be down in ten minutes, or I will see to it that they go, at which Vince almost flipped his lid, and shouted at me, asking if I couldn't see how stressed she was!
But, as the bar was opening at twelve, I felt sorry for Joe who was trying his very best to get everything done in the remaining few minutes, so I phoned Lizzie to tell her that I would be late.
Joanne usually only had to do the rooms, and on the days Lizzie and self were off, the pub and diningroom also, and Vince did lunch and dinner, but as he was the chef, he had to run the kitchen, but did not, as I was the one who noticed that things were low and wrote it on the shopping list, and did all the baking. But at least he could do the orders, and I wondered about him able to do that, but not able to cook, until I found out that he used to work in a fast food place, where he just had to dish up!
Joe, being a very handsome man, and seperated from Suzanne, was always fighting off lusting ladies, and one night after all the waiters and barmen were gone, I went into the pub after finishing the kitchen, and I could see immediately that poor Joe was looking very uncomfortable, as at the counter was this woman and her husband, her body language screaming out that she wanted Joe! This two, Jim and Mairie, were regular customers, and Joe could not afford to affront them, as during the winter months, when the tourists had left, he needed the local people to keep his bussiness ticking over, and on seeing me, he looked mighty relieved, and asked me to have a drink with them. Mairie had just bought a new car, and she was trying to get Joe to go for a spin with her, but poor Joe was in a state of terror, as Mairie was quite sozzled, and definitely not able to drive the fast new car she bought. Jim just sat drinking his whiskey, apparently unaware of his wife's lusty feelings, and my heart went out to Joe, who was trying to close the pub, the lights having by now being dimmed so much one could hardly see your hand in front of one's eyes.
I went to bed after I finished my drink, avoiding Joe's pleading eyes, but as I had to do the prepping for breakfast, I needed my sleep. I took a shower first, and was just back in my bedroom,still with only my towel around me, when there was a big commotion on the stairs leading down to the bedrooms of the cottage that I now shared with Joe,and before I knew what was happening, my door opened, and in came Mairie with a face of thunder, demanding for me to give up Joe! I was so surprised that I just stood there, my mouth hanging open, while a very upset Mairie looked in my wardrobe, under the bed, and behind the curtains, coyly calling for Joe to come to her! As she was a buxom lady, with broad shoulders and big legs, the little baby voice she was calling in for Joe to come and get her was so funny that, cross as I was, I had to burst out laughing, at which she again became aware of my presence and started abusing me again for hiding her prey from her. I was by now a bitty scared, as she was calling me all kind of names, and trying to grab hold of me, so I legged it up the stairs where the two men sat talking, Jim also quite sozzled, completely unaware of the drama that was playing out down in the cottage! I went back to see if my bedroom was still intact, and found Mairie fast asleep on my bed, so I took some pillows from the store room and made myself comfy on the sofa in the sitting room.
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