Hysterical Lizzy

The midges were horrendous, and soon they were everywhere, in my hair, my mouth, my nose, and even in my ears, and the sting of this little smaller than small little monsters were quite sore, so soon we were burning and itching all over. I draped my pajama pants over my head and my face, leaving only my mouth open to try and finish my delicious apple pie, and a slit for my eyes, but it was useless, as when my mouth opened they flocked in, and I swallowed hundreds of the things with every bite, of that I am pretty sure.
So our lovely night sitting under the stars were spoiled, and we legged it to the tent, and zipped it up securely, and sighed contented sighs of relieve. We then maar lay reading and talking until we became sleepy and dozed off. But our safe haven was not as safe as could be, and after some furious investigating,  some of the midges found a way to scramble through, and start their torment again. It was terrible, both Liz and self scratching, and moaning, and the poor dogs were not spared either, so it was like a bally madhouse in that small one man tent.
Then the tent, that was not very stable to begin with decided to collapse on us, and we all went quite beserk trying to get out, but I had to find the zipper before I could open the tent flap, and by the time I managed that usually easy task, we were all quite hysterical, and with Benny breathing heavily because of his panic attack, the air inside was now absolutely vile.
When at last I opened the flap, thousands of half crazed midges engulfed us, so we decided to leg it up the mountain and back to the car. That was not easy, as we kept on falling in boggy holes, Liz's small torch not giving out much light! We were exhausted when at last we got to the top, and just fell into the car, muddy bodies and all, and watched the crazed little bloodsuckers hammering against the windows to get to us!

I had grabbed my shorts before making a run for safety, so I got rid of my muddy pajama trousers by putting on my clean purple shorts. Liz for reasons of her own had brought a pair of quite bright green and shiny chinese like pajamas that she had put on after we got out of the water, but she had to keep it on as she didn't bring anything else up. The night passed slowly, and at about two that morning, we were fantasizing about the full flask of coffee we had made and were far down at the river. We were later so worked up about this, that I said okay, I will go down and get it, and some clean pants for Liz, so weaponed with the small torch, and an old towel around my head, I made my down, but then Liz turned the car facing the river and put on her lights, and that made life much easier, although I still fell in many muddy bogholes! The clothes we had left on the rocks were soaking wet from the dew, so Liz had to stay in her muddy pants.
Oh, that coffee tasted like nothing ever did, and as we couldn't sleep, Liz sat heaving and shivering with astma and a panic attack, smoking one cigarette after another, while I had my nose to a small split in the window for some fresh air, not only to escape the smoke, but also the stench coming from the snoring Benny's open mouth. By about four the midges magically disappeared, and I sighed a huge sigh of relieve when I could open the window wider!
I eventually fell asleep, and woke up rudely by Liz shaking me unmercifully, and I could see that she was in a bad state! Her bally cigarettes, two packets of twenty, were finished, and if you want Liz in a panic, take away her ciggies! I could see that Liz was close to breaking point, so after some heavy begging from her, it was decided that she would drive up to the small shop and cafè a little way up the road, and I promised to get out and buy the cigarettes and beg some boiling water, as hopefully there would not be many tourists around at that time of the morning. I had sympathy with Liz not wanting to get out, as she looked devilish in her shiny pajamas of which her trousers was caked with mud! I didn't look much better, and with my flowery yellow pajama top on, with my backside covered by the purple shorts, and my legs covered in dry mud, I at least did not look as though I was a filthy sleeper!
There was already a group of tourists sitting outside, and now I hyperventilated, and asked Liz to pull the car as close to the steps of the shop as possible, but it didn't help, as I was still in full view of the people, so with Liz on the road to a serious bout of hysteria, I closed my eyes to slits, and ran for the shop, bits of dried mud falling off as far as I went!
The young guy serving me was very upset on seeing me, thinking that I had an accident in the mountains, but after I explained our night of terror, he was very sympathetic, even filled up the flask with hot water. The people outside was all agog and stared at me as if I was something from another planet, and when we drove away at last, Liz almost finishing her cigarette in one pull, I could see them talking excitedly, and I assumed they were wondering about the strange Scottish people!