It was Saturday morning, breakfast was done, and all the guests seen on their way by the time a very tired Sam emerged from wherever he was during the night. His mother and grandparents had one heck of a time keeping tread with his escapades, as he was friends with a group of louts from Calender, who came over with the bus to do a lot of mischief in the village.
Their latest escapade, and the one that got the over protective grandparents into at
last realising that the boy is not the innocent little baby he was fifteen years ago, was really naughty! He and this group went into the backyard of the village store collected, and smashed all the empty beer and wine bottles that the store was recycling right at the store's entrance! It was the last straw for the villagers, and the police was called in. The louts were all caught, Sam included, and they had to do some community work.
That was the end of this lot coming to Strathyre, and Sam hooked up again with his old school friends. They were also but a scruffy lot, with rings dangling from every available spot on their faces, even their tongues, but at least they were not the vandilistic type! So that is, when the government decided to pay kids a wage if they got a job as an appy somewhere, Tony was approached, and Sam was given an appreticeship!
But I realised soon that sam was in no mood for working this morning, and every now and then I caught a glimpse of one of his mates lurking behind the cars and bushes, sending out frantic messages, using their hands for the job! I was extremely busy, as Ewan, with the small bus he drives taking youngsters on adventure tours, had phoned, and they would stop at the hotel for lunch. That means a frantic spurt of activity, as a lot more salad would be needed, and also a lot more chips, and fish to take out to defrost. The burgers, steak pies, and other lunchtime stuff that I had prepared would also not be enough, depending on what the guests were going to order.
And my help was to say the least, unconcerned with my problems, and stood staring out of the window instead of peeling potatoes for chips! I had to keep on prompting him to get on with it, but to no avail.
He then told me that his head was fit to burst, and he thought he had sunstroke! Oh, no, I said, if you have sunstroke, you would be nauseous, and won't be able to lift your head! Wrong statement! Now Sam's head started to hang more and more, and when he disappeared a few minutes later, I found him sitting outside, with his head almost on his lap, holding it and giving amazing gasps of pain, and doing a good job of faking extreme nausea!
I had enough! Marched to Tony and told him to get rid of that lazy brat, and phone my all time favourite, little Gary. Tony came to see what was up, and not knowing what preceded this, and immediately sent the 'poor' boy home! I was CROSS!!! Told him the whole, but he was in a spot, as Sam's family bring in a lot of custom, and Tony played up to them in all earnest! Little Gary, who was one of a twin, the other one, Laura, about twice the size of him. But this little man could do his thing, and I sometimes got a lump in my throat when I see him scrubbing away on pots twice his size.
But I had it with Sam, and waited untill it was calmer, Ewan's people fed and gone, to tackle the problem with Tony. I knew I would loose the friendship with Janet, Sam's mother, and maybe also that of the grandparents, but the idea of working any longer with Sam was unthinkable!
But the weekend did pass, and at last it was Monday, and my day off. Liz and self went to see if the wild strawberries were ripe, and we found some really juicy ones! Bliss!

Back at work! I was just not happy anymore, but had to stay, as the job offered to me at the other hotel was now taken. The young Sam was just not suited for the kitchen, as he was not at all interested to learn anything. On the other hand, I think I was also not in the right, for I would not yet allow him to cook, and he of course, with the optimism of youth, thought that by having watched me for two weeks, he was a masterchef ! So one lunchtime I was busy with a big table, when an order for fish and chips came in, and thinking that not much can go wrong with fish and chips, I told Sam that he was free to do it.As we had a lot of fish orders for lunch, Sam must have seen me do it a hundred times over the last two weeks, and I had explained the complete process of every meal.
As busy as I was, I did not really watched what he was doing, as I had a lot of different meals to prepare, and it was hard enough to get all the meals ready to go out at the same time. But when I turned to put some chips in the fryer, the scene that met my eyes was quite astonishing, and just a bitty hilarious! Sam had obviously not watched me well, for instead of putting in one piece of fish, wait for the batter to cook a little, then put in the next one, he had put all the fish in together, and that had resulted of course in one big lump, as the fish was stuck together good and solid, and poor Sam was almost in tears trying to separate them. That was not a good idea, as the fillets broke into pieces!
I told him to get some other fillets out, and get everything ready, then fish out the pieces of maltreated fish so I can do it when my meals were done.
Instead of feeling a bit subdued, Sam's youthful self believe did not deter him from telling Tony that the reason for the wasted fish was cold oil, and not his inexperience. As Tony was pressed by Sam's grandparents, who he was friendly with to advance the boy a bit, he laughed about it, and shook it off as just a wee mistake, and asked me to give more attention to help the boy learn some cooking! As if I did not have enough on my bally plate! I did not let him come near to any cooking or frying, but let him assemble the burgers, and other small things, but that left me with doing the running and stacking the dishwasher myself, as Sam was strutting around the kitchen like a dunghill cockerel, having conversations with his pals who were skulking behind the cars and bushes outside,telling them that he was doing a lot of the cooking!
He was quite happy, as learning to cook was not a priority, but to brag about his cooking was important. I just found his being under my feet unnerving, as usually nobody was allowed on my side of the table, it being dangerous, with pots of stuff boiling and me sometimes moving fast with some hot stuff in my hands. I could sense that the time for me to stage another strike was imminent!
The foto is of my view from the kitchen window where Sam's friends hung out, waiting for him to finish.

I was getting quite panicky, as the water was so cold that I could feel my blood getting frozen up, well, almost, and all the time the herd stood watching me, pushing their dinner around from side to side in their mouths. I knew I had to get out of the loch soon, and was walking slowly along in the direction of my camp, and the cattle moved slowly along with me. I was desperate, but just when I thought my body would be found frozen like a lolly in the morning, I heard voices, so I screeched! A few big eyed fishermen came running over the little rise, and sizing up the situation, their concern gave way for some hearty laughter. I did NOT think it very funny.
They walked up to the lochside, while the cattle watched them with great interest, then, maybe realising their fun was over, the turned heel, and disappeared over the rise! I had a sweaty brow, and a fast pounding heart, but the fishermen had a good laugh, and told me that as it was the time the farmhands usually arrived with their food, the herd must have thought me the benefactor of the day, and was following me hoping to get dinner!
I sat talking to them from some time, hoping to watch as they pull out one after the other of nice fat trout, but the going was slow, and I decided to head back to my tent and start my own dinner. I had a few nice minted chops, and potatoes that I pre-boiled, and which I was going to roast on the fire, and nice crusty bread, and stuff for a salad, Yummy!
I slept like a log, that is after I coated everything with midge muti, that means stuff to keep the critters out of the tent. There is nothing worse than the Scottish midge, as their bites sting and tickle for hours, and usually make huge red swellings that became quite painful. Poor Lizzy gets really ill from their bites, as hers became inflamed, and just looking at it makes one want to scratch! But that night I was left to sleep in peace, and woke up feeling fresh and happy!
 It was a beautiful morning, with birds singing, and the little stream singing a lovely and happy song song, specially for me, and I just sat watching as the sun started peeping shyly through the leaves high above me. Oh, what a lovely thing nature is, with the sounds, and the smells, and the wonderful fresh and clean air! I filled my lungs to full capacity, then blew out slowly, feeling the tingle of life running through my veins!
My breakfast was just super, as I had bacon, and egg, banana and tomatoes, all made in the same pan, and toast that I made over the coals. I just love fried banana with my bacon, so I revelled in the delicious meal, fit for any king,
I took my coffee down to the loch, and keeping a wary eye at the rise, ready to run if the herd emerged, but all was quiet, and it wasn't long before my eyelids drooped, and a delicious tiredness came over me. The day was my own, so I lay down and took a short nap under the now warm sun!

At long last Sunday came to an end, and while cleaning away the foodstuffs and filling the dish washer, I could feel my legs buckling, and my body sagging! Sam, my government paid aid of course only worked till ten, but over weekends it is really bad, as the kitchen are expected to do meals until all hours. I liked doing it, as all the restaurants in Strathyre and surroundings close kitchen at nine thirty at the latest, So I am stuck with the cleaning, as the youngsters helping at night are only allowed to work four hours, so they also work from six to ten!
But I woke up next morning, and it was Monday, and it being Monday, I was of course off! I lay in bed much later than usual on my days off, as I am usually off to one of my favourite spots to have a barbeque breakfast at seven. Today however, the old legs were a bitty lazy to respond, but after I dragged my battered body out of bed, and made a strong cuppa, I felt like a brand new sixpence again, and ready for all this day may bring.
It took only minutes to pack my stuff, made a flask of strong coffee, and took off at great speed, wanting to get away as soon as possible, as I am regularly called in for help, Theresa and Tony not able to manage. That is why I left before they were up and in, as I felt that I really earned my time off.
I have decided to drive to Aberfoil, on the Trossachs trail, as some way down a small and winding road, you got to loch Ard, and that is one of the best places if I wanted to sleep over in my tent. I always found a new and beautiful spot walking around, and today I did so again. I found a small stream, very private, as it was quite far from the road, with a lot of lovely leafy trees shading it from sun and prying eyes, so I put up my tent! Oh the joy of just lying in the dappled shade reading and musing over my quite hectic life, was unbelievable!
I decided to walk down to the loch, and look for old pieces of pottery, as I collected it. I have found the most beautiful, but sometimes tiny pieces of very old pottery at the different lochs where I loved searching the beaches!
A few cows were grazing lazily on a small green  rise, and never having had trouble with any highland cow, or any other species, I was shocked into first a kind of paralysed panic, and then into doing a creditable Olympic sprint over grass and rocks, as one of the herd, a huge bally bull, gave me one look, and decided that he did not like my presence! He gave one nasty bellow, and charged!
I moved like the wind over the field, making for the safety of the cold loch, and was inspired to even more speed when I peeped around, and saw that the whole herd was now giving chase!
Getting to the loch cost me a lot of skin on my legs, as I was wearing shorts, and the water was icy, but I waded in as far as possible, keeping a weary eye at my pursuers! This lot now stood at the edge of the water, and looked at me with what I first thought was hatred, but then I saw a cow with the biggest udder on earth watching me with soft brown eyes while chewing her grass. Soft eyes or not, I was not planning on leaving the safety of the water while this lot were watching me, and wondered how long it would take to freeze to death in the cold water.

It was one dreary looking female who got up the next morning, and it took a lot of willpower to actually get upright. I had to be in the kitchen for seven to do my prep, but at six I had the dicy job of switching on the geysers, as tony put it off at night to save a bit of money.
To do this was really hazardous, and feeling like I did this morning made it quite dangerous as well. The switches was in the room above the kitchen, so I had to slump up a very steep staircase, and getting to the top, usually quite breathless, I had to take a very deep breathe, as now the dangerous rafters awaited! There was no floor in this room, and the few rafters left was spaced about half a meter apart, and the switches resided on the opposite wall. So one actually needed the balance of a circus acrobat, and the nerves of a lion tamer to attempt this job! I was frantic, as a rule, but this morning, with the poor old head aching like the blazes, and the poor old eyes almost sightless they were so swollen, I took one humongous breathe, and like a bally tightrope walker I sprinted from one rafter to the other, and could not believe that I had actually made it safely to the switches!
 Then it was the return jumps, and I took another gasp, my chest now feeling real tight, and just went for it! Tony promised every time I moaned that he would have a decent walkway put up there, but as he is running around like a beheaded chicken himself, I think my moans went in at the one ear, and out at the other, as no attempt had so far been made.
The bar was in chaos! I had to make the coffee in there, as we use the big coffee machine, but every available space was filled with dirty glasses, and it smelled like one very dirty shabeen, that means an illegal drinking spot in our townships back home. I opened every window, and the front door to get rid of the stale smells, and hoped by the time the guests came down the place would be fresher!
I did see a few noses quiver in disgust as the people started coming down, and I noticed that they all looked like I did, with red eyes and pursed lips, although my lips were stretched in a kind of what I meant to be a smile! They were all very upset at the noise through the night, and I tried to explain that it didn't happen every night, but that we had a beach party! They were not at all interested in my explanations, just ate their food in silince, gazing at nothing in particular!
I was relieved to say the least when I had seen the last one off, then went into a panic as Toni came down, looking terrible, his hair uncombed, his beard long, and his clothes looking as though he had slept in it, which he probably did! I told him that I would see to any one coming in if he wanted to take a shower first, but he explained that the truck would be coming any minute to fetch the sand.
What a bally racket! Only Frazer and Willie came to help, themselves not looking quite alive, and between the lot of them they cleared all the sand from the pub lounge!
I found this card in a shop in Callander, and having experienced the bally midges for myself, I think this is probably not far from the truth!!!

I had no time to rest, as there was such a lot of prep to do, but I managed to sit down for half an hour while having my lunch. By six however I was pooped, and wondered how I was going to manage untill the kitchen closed, and if the work was not enough, Sam was quite cross when he came back at six, as he desperately wanted to share in the fun.
Tony had gotten two young girls in hula skirts to help me, but they were so bent on showing off that I saw very little of them, and had to send Sam continiously to find them. Of course this was just the dandy with Sam, as he got lost on the 'beach' every time, and then I had to leave all and go looking for both Sam and the girls. The only light in this madhouse of a kitchen was young Gary, who was called by his mother after I promised him double pay to work for two hours. Actually it was not allowed, as he had already done a shift during the morning, and the kids were allowed to work only four hours per day.
This kid was a marvel, and quite the opposite of his twin sister, to my thinking the laziest girl on two legs. Laura, the twin was about twice as tall as Gary, big boned like her mother, and quite coarse, while Gary was smallboned, and very well spoken, and could work like a horse! I always marvelled when I watched him wash the huge pots that were so large that he was quite dwarfed by them, but he was always happy and eager to please. The only drawback of course was that he was so small, and couldn't always reach things that I needed him to fetch, and when it was very busy I had to run and fetch it myself, which took up valuable time!
The beach party was a huge success, and became quite raucus as time went by, and it wasn't long before everything in the kitchen was also covered in sand. The plates and other stuff coming back from the party was covered in sand, and the poor dishwasher was making strange screeching noises, presumably from sand in its workings! It wasn't long before two plates of food from the restaurant, which was also open for bussiness, were sent back with complaints that there was sand in the food. How it happened I did not know, but, as the same waitresses doing the party was also serving the restaurant, I had a suspicion that they were shedding sand all over the plates when taking it in. I sent Sam to call Tony when a second lot came back, and asked him to let one of the girls get herself sand-free, and then only serve the restaurant, and after a bit of niggling, he gave in, and from then on trhere was no more sandy food coming back.
I finished just after twelve, and as the party was still swinging, I joined in the fun for a short while, but could just as well have stayed up all night, as the pub lounge was just underneath my room, and the music and laughter was so loud that my bed was hopping around on the floor! Well, almost! The noises lasted well into the early hours of the morning, and when the clock struck six, I had not slept at all, but had to get up to do breakfast! And to make it worse, I had to look happy and gay!!

As if I did not have enough to do, Tony and Theresa had decided to spruce up life in the village, and our hotel was going to have a beach party! A beach party? I was wondering how they wanted to accomplish such a thing in the hotel, but was soon enlightened about the extent to which they would go to make this a success!
I must say this of Tony, he wasn't up to snuff about running a hotel, and the rules regarding his contact and dealings with the guests, but he was full of ideas, all of them not always the most practical, but at least he tried!
So, on the Friday morning, with my lip already hanging to the floor, and my voice hoarse from trying to get the young Sam to get on with his job, I watched with wonder a big lorry, loaded to full capacity with sand, pulled into the parking lot! This was the sign for Sam to take off his pinny, in order to go and find out what was in the wind, him not knowing about the proposed party!
I tried in vain to call him back, but he kept himself quite deaf, and I was going into a bally fit of hysteria, as I was instructed to make a lot of beachy dishes, or rather, dishes usually served at seaside cafe's. That made for a lot of extra work, as the reastaurant was still to operate, and as week-ends a lot of people came out to dine more formally, I just could not neglect that part of my prep!
Within minutes it seemed that the whole town had come to inspect what was going on, as the lorry had now parked in front of the pub door, and dumped the whole heap of sand on the doorsteps! Tony, Theresa, Willie Dowel, and the be-painted, or rather be-tattoo-ed Frazer, looking like a colourful reptile without his shirt, frantically carrying buckets full of sand into the pub lounge! Bally madness! But soon there were quite a few helpers, who after their amazement had subsided, helped to cover the pub lounge's floor in a thick layer of sand!
I must say, when I later went to have a look, I was quite pleasantly surprised, as the lounge was transformed into a very credible beach, with umbrellas everywhere, and a few loungers, and colourful towels, and so forth!