This year I was going to visit Jan and Nina in Denmark before I went to Scotland, so I flew to Heathrow, then took a bus to Stansted, where I had one of the cheapy flights booked to Ejsbere in Denmark, where my son would fetch me.I was looking forward to seeing my new grandson Andreas, and also their new house, and of course the rest of them too.
It was quite a hullabaloo for me, as I had a painting that Irma framed for Liz, and this thing had glass in, and although it was not too big, it was quite uncomfortable to carry around, with all my other stuff, as my things were not booked through to Denmark.
When the time for departing came, a very bored voice informed us that the flight would be late in departing, due to some unintelegable circumstance, and he then after about two more hours announced that the fault had been rectified, and we would soon be boarding.
I became aware of some kind of commotion, and people walking fast, others talking furiously on walkie talkies, and then the bored voice came on again through a lot of scraping and sweeshy noices, and he now told us that the flight had been delayed because of a fire in the part of the building from where we had to depart!
And all this time I thought about my poor kids with a small baby waiting on the other side!
Then, after another hour the voice announced that we could now board through gate so and so (can't remember the number), and all the travel weary lot jumped up, with sommer a new spring in their steps, and we all proceeded to the announced gate.
That night I learned to always trust my intuition! Being  Scorpio, I have an exceptionally strong intuition, and many times I  had averted danger to myself by listening, but there were times that I got into difficult situations by not listening.
When I walked onto the plane, I had a funny feeling, and a little voice in my head told me to get off, as there was danger! I suppressed the voice of my guardian angel, and laughingly told myself that I had this feeling of danger because of all that happened before we could board, but the feeling just got stronger.
I sat down and fastened my safety belt, and tried to read the paper I got at the door, feeling very uncomfortable, but when I looked at how calmly the other passengers sat, I decided that as I had been in the air so long, and no sleep during the night, my nervous system was a bit overtaxed.
I was horrified when the plane started taxy-ing, as I was now really quite worked up, but when we lifted easily into the sky, I told myself that it was just tiredness, so I sat back and tried to relax, looking out at the window. After a while I realized that we were not climbing, and were still quite near to the ground, and I was starting to hyperventilate, when the Captain's voice told us that due to a machanical fault, we had to turn back to Stansted Airport!
We got back safely, and I vowed never to ignore my intuition again!
The fault could not be rectified, and we had to sit through the night waiting for another aircraft to come back, and take us to Denmark. Luckily Nina had decided to stay home with the baby, because Jan and Rene had to wait right through the night, as Ejsbere was far from Svendborg where they lived, and nobody could tell them when the plane would arrive!
The photo's are of the kid's new house and garden in Svenborg.

I think my life is just bally trials and tribulations, and my kids that are always wanting to make things better for me, sometimes landed me in situations that were traumatic to me, and hilarious to them!
Irma was dancing and singing in a new production for the arts theatre, and when I told her how bored I was, it could not be higher or lower, I had to attend the tap dancing classes that Evelina, the woman producing the play was holding, both to get people fit, and also to get them into shape for the play. I tried my best to get Irma to forget about me, but no, the next Thursday she was at my door, complete with a pair of Kristani's tapping shoes for Mother!
Try as I would, Irma was adamant that her mother were going to tap dance all her boredom away, and I just sat in the car and saw in my minds eye the bally figure I would present, as I knew my abilities!
Arriving at the theatre, where we were to practice on the stage, I was warmly welcomed by everyone, and Evelina told me not to worry, as I was not the only beginner! Bah! What she never told me was that the other beginners had been at it for the past month, twice a week!
So, she got the group all doing the tapping thing, then she took me, and showed me the basic steps. Then she went on with the group while I practiced the steps she showed me, but I got pretty badly tangled up, and by the time it was my turn for attention, I was just about in a state of hyperventilation. Evelina told me not to worry, and we tried again, and then, just as I was getting into the swing of the thing, she shouted at the top of her voive: 'Jeeks Irma, your mum is a fast learner!' Nearly fell flat on my face from shock, as I was not unintelegent, but that I was okay at tapdancing, and picking it up easy, no!
After giving me some more practice time, she incorporated me into the group, and I must say, the steps and things were not so bad, and if my body was just a wee bit more springy, I believed that I would tapdance in a short while, as I kept up with the others, just making a booboo now and then.
Then Evelina told everyone to stand back, as she wanted me to tap from the one side of the stage to the other so that she can see where I needed the most help! Oh my good heavens!
After inhaling and exhaling laboriously a few times, me, that is, Evelina started clapping rhythmically, and off I went! The first few steps were ok, but the nearer I got to the middle, the more the stage wobbled and swayed, untill it went up and down, shuddering and sighing dangerously, while I, like a huge and heavy bally elephant, careered thunderously across it! The group, plus Evelina was stunned, but I knew all along that I would never dance across a stage as lightfooted as a fairy, as my family just were not athletic!
But Evelina was not put out at all, saying that she had never had a student who learned the steps so fast! I just mumbled and grumbled at Irma, who was just a wee bit white around the gills, and when I told her the next Tuesday that I was not going, she didn't put up too much of a fight!
However the time did pass, and before I knew it, I was all packed and ready to leave!

My flight home was quite interesting, and a bit scary! As I was flying with Olympic Air, we flew to greece first, where I had to board the final flight home. On the flight from Heathrow a very nice and handsome man was sitting next to me, and this man looked after me, bringing me juices, and water, and I listened to his talking about his city, Alexandria with interest, as I knew so little about that part of the world. When we landed at Greece, he said to me that I just had to see the wonderful beaches and feel the pulse of Alexandria, and stated that I should postpone my going home, and went with him for a week or two so that he could show me his world. I declined with regret, and he then told me that to be scared of grabbing life is a big sin, and as he would be there to look after me, I would be safe! I got scared, and hastened to get off the plane, and onto the bus that took us to the airport building, where I went directly through the security gate, although we had to wait about three hours for our flight to leave.
It was indeed good to come home to my kids and my family, and I was happy to hear that Trienkie and Stephan were indeed getting married, as he is a lovely young man. It was such a vast transition from the green hills and lots of water of Scotland to get  used to the brown wintry landscape of home, but I loved it just the same. Trienkie gave me just enough time get into the swing of the family thing again, before she told me that she wanted me to make her wedding dress! I was not too happy, and told her that I was not that kind of familiar with the art of making fancy dresses, but she assured me that what she had in mind was not difficult at all.
She then brought me a huge parcel containing a lot of meters of calico, and stated that she did not like the dresses in the shops, and in the catalogues, as they were all too shiny, and like Irma, she just do  not like shiny things!
So we looked for a pattern that I felt I could master, and as calico is not expensive I started cutting out the pieces for the dress without too much apprehension. I myself love the natural feel and colour of calico, but I never dreamt that one day I would be asked to make a calico wedding dress!
It looked fabulous! I had worked a pattern of small pearls on the front of the bodice, and at the back I put beautiful pearly buttons, and pearls also on the bottom of the petticoat that was just an inch or so longer than the dress! I felt very proud of myself, as when I started I had a lot of misgivings!
The wedding was also not a shiny affair, as they had decided on a small country hotel that was known for good food and service, and indeed the staff and owners were all just so nice, with the eresult that the party was also a great success.
The only almost hitch was when Clifford, a family friend that was almost like a grandpa to her, had to bring her into the church, and him being a bitty deaf, started walking up the isle when he thought he heard a note, and Trienkie, after trying in vain to keep him back, just relaxed and started walking, while the poor woman playing the organ, hastily started playing the weeding march!
I was now in the flat, and as bored as anything, as I could only visit the library so many times a day, or walk down to the town, and although the botanical gardens was close by, it was just too dangerous to walf around it on your own.
It wasn't long before I started feeling like a sardine in a tin, as even my garden that was of minuature size did not keep me busy for long. It was then that I decided to make myself a fish pond.
As Irma and the kids all had their things to do, Irma working and the kids at school, I was starting to look forward to my going back to Scotland.

I was sad when I woke up on the last day of our stay, as Skye just had so much to see, and I would have liked to go on a few walking trips to where a car could not go, but Liz is not the hiking type, so I decided to come back at a later stage. But for now it was goodbye, as I had a plane to catch, and on the other side of the globe my kids were already very excited about me coming back at last!
Back at Strathyre it was just for sleeping one night and then on to the train station at Stirling from where the Great Western Flyer' would take me away from a world that I loved, and on to Kingscross in London. The new people had already moved in and was busy as bees learning the arts of running a pub under Joe's capable hand. He would stay for a few weeks until they were okay to go on on their own.
I got a beautiful set of laminated placemats with a collage of all the weird and wonderful people of Strathyre from the owners of the caravan park that made me cry, as it was such a nice idea.
But at last I was on my way, with a solemn oath that I would be back for the next summer.
My homeward journey was not without incident, as a matter of fact I was a bitty embarrased at one stage.
The train to London was as always very pleasant to me, and much better than taking one of the cheap flights, as then somebody had to take me to the airport, which was quite far, then I would still have to get a bus to Heathrow, and to me that was much more inconvenient than just getting onto the underground. So the trip to Kingscross went very smoothly, me having made a young friend, who, on noticing that I was reading a Terry Pratchet book, lost his lethargic, typical teenager mode, and started talking Terry Pratchet, while his mum, who had tried her best to get him to be interested in the view from the window, and the packed lunch that looked delicious, looked on in wonder!
The underground was busy at the time we got to Kingscross, but after struggling to get my VERY heavy rucksack that made my legs buckle onto my back, and pulling the just as heavy suitcase behind me, I made it to the ticket office, and then down into the belly of the earth. It was very hard to stay upright with the rucksack pulling me all over the place, and I was sure that every ligament and muscle in my body was ruined!
The train was overful, but I managed to squeeze myself into a tiny space, and could not believe it when two more people also squeezed in. I had nowhere to hang onto, and when the train pulled away, the bally rucksack pulled me backwards, and there I lay, caught by some man, unable to get upright, no matter how hard both the man and self tried, while the man next to me just did not notice. I had to then make peace with my mishap, and lay against the poor man until the passengers had thinned out, and oh happiness, at Hammersmith a lot got off, and a very nice Australian guy came to our rescue and pulled me upright.
The British are indeed a strange nation, as through all this, nobody showed by even lifting a brow, that they had noticed my discomfort, or tried to help, and just sat staring into space as if they were cut of from humanity the moment they got on the underground!

As Lizzie and self bought all our food from Farmfoods before we set off for Skye, the one thing that we did really well was eating! And as it was so expensive to have coffee in a coffee shop all the time, we always took our lunch and the flask with. We had decided to have a coffee and some cake once a day, whether in the morning or afternoon didn't matter.
We also didn't plan too much on where we were going on a specific day, but just went in a different direction every morning, or I should rather say afternoon, as the earliest I have been able to nag Liz into being ready, was once, and that was a few minutes before twelve.
The Skye landscape is just so overwhelming, and as it changes just about from mile to mile, we were in awe most of the time.One day we landed up a Trotternish, and the mountains with its crags and huge rocks and beautiful colours was like being in another world. As we drove on and through this wonderworld, we stopped every few miles to first enjoy the views, as the landscape changed just about from mile to mile.
After driving around, wondering how this wonderworld came into existence, we came to a small, winding and undulating road that led us to the Point of Sleat, where the sea was rough, and the lighthouse stood high and imposing, warning the ships that they were nearing danger.
But mostly I loved the Cuillin, a mountain range that stood watch over the lesser mountains and small lochs, called Lochans. For all I cared we could go there and walk every day, as I saw something new all the time. But the best of all this was when the sun set over the Cuillin, painting the skye a bloodred, interspersed with orange and yellow, setting off some dark blue clouds!
The other place where we experienced another wonderful sunset was at Portree, where, as we sat outside eating fish and chips, the skye suddenly became alive with all this vibrant colours. It is a pity that my camera was just not good enough to portray that colours!
Another day we drove to Tarskavaig, a wild and lonely place, where the landscape was actually not too harsh, but with lochans dotted all over and framed by the most fantastic Autumn colours. The wildness and loneliness of this landscape both put a strange fear, but also a kind of peace into my heart, and when an eagle suddenly rose as if from nowhere and circle the sky noiselessly until it disappeared inbetween the crags, I felt as if a piece of me went with it!
On the way back to the cottage we talked about how us as humans believe ourselves so important, while this mountains and the sea and the lochs would still be there, thousands of years after we were gone.
The next day we kind of skulked into Uig, as I had to see the doctor with my hand, and as we had told the kindly people that we were going home, we were in fear of meeting them. It is definitely not a good practice to lie, even a white lie to get out of such a spot, as then you have always to look over one's shoulder like we had to during our holiday, in case we see the owners of the caravan!

Otters and soda bread

Already the next morning my hand felt a lot better, and it also looked better, the angry red swelling by now having gone.
The wooden cottage we were now in was absolutely wonderful, with a nice view over a green field, and up to the sea, and for me it was bliss, as I could walk around until Liz woke up.
So, armed with the flask filled with coffee, and some sandwiches, I left the cottage early to go down to the beach and see what it was like. It was quite far, but I was blessed with a pair of strong legs for walking, although running was definitely not my strong point.I remember from my early schooldays, because I had such long legs, the teachers always put me into the athletics practices, and could not understand why I didn't beat all the other kids. It was bad for me, as tried as I would, I always found myself running alone, everybody else having passed me, and then, because I never was a good loser, I would stop, grab my leg, and pretend that I had a bad cramp!
It was a lovely day, specially after the cold and wet that spoiled our joy a little bit, and made my hand ache, and as I was alone except for a few small birds and a family of rabbits playing in the grass, I sang! 'It's a long way to the perairy', and to my ears it sounded as usual not too bad!
 Down at the beach I sat down and had my breakfast, and then sat with my cuppa watching an otter playing in the water, rolling and diving, and then he lay on his back, softly rocking on the gentle waves, watching me all the time, I suppose to see whether I liked his antics. I sat watching him until a few others joined him, and one of them, maybe his mother, gave him a good cuff, before the whole lot left, leaving me feeling suddenly very alone!
As it was now almost ten thirty, I walked back to see whether Liz was awake. I just can not understand how people can lie in bed till almost midday, while the suns shines and wildlife is everywhere to be seen, even if only a small mouse, or a few baby rabbits. I found her up, and drinking her coffee, and I think maybe her concsience had spooked  her dreams during the night, as she said that she would be ready for going out in half an hour!
Driving around inbetween the bautiful and awe inspiring mountains was indeed soulfood, and I sat very quietly, drinking it all in, a piece of tissue paper stuck in my nose to keep Benny's breathe at bay, as the winding road was just not good for his car sickness.
We found a small cafè sitting like a small bird surrounded by huge rocks, and had tea and the best soda bread that I have ever tasted!

White lies!

We had a lovely day just driving around, looking in awe at The Old Man of Storr and the surrounding mountains.

But that night over a glass of red, we pondered the question of how to tell the nice people renting out the caravan that we wanted to leave. It was difficult, as we couldn't in all honesty say that there was anything wrong, as the caravan was beautifully clean and well equipped.
When my hand suddenly started aching again, the answer to our ponderings became as clear as daylight, and I couldn't think why we had not earlier thought about using my hand as an excuse! We were like two naughty children, feeling a wee bitty guilty, but the carrot at the end of the stick was too nice not to grab!
I lay awake for quite some time, as Liz snored unbearably, with her two dogs joining in at irregular intervals, so that it never became rhythmic, and I was actually contemplating sticking some bally toilet paper in their nostrils to soften the effects of their choir on my nervous system!
But I did fall asleep, but woke up early with my hand red and very painful, and I thought, 'ya right, that is what comes from wanting to lie', as we had decided that we would tell the owners that I had burned my hand the previous night, and yes, I know good girls don't lie, but we were pretty desperate, and bally childish! But hey, a holiday like this do not come around too often.
I woke Liz up, and after taking the abuse she threw at me about being heartless, and people who harasses her, and for all she cared I could go jump off the jetty, with reasonable good grace, I reminded her that if we were not out of the caravan by ten, we would have to pay for another day! That made her took notice, and with a face all scrunched up like a wee witch, she rose from the bed and after lighting a cigarette, sat slouched over the table, sipping her coffee slowly, glaring out of the small window.
She manged, above all expectation, to be ready at nine thirty, and feeling like two bally utter scoundrels, we set out for the owners house to regale them with our tale, and get their sympathy, and thus hoping that they would not demand the whole ten days's payment! They were not at home!
We were now in a fix, but when we saw that there were people in the next caravan, we wrote a letter of explanation, put an extra day's money in and asked the lady to give them the note. I showed her my bandaged hand, and she then demanded to see it, as she was a nurse.
She was aghast at the sight of my burn, and told me that she was taking me to the doctor on the double, and before we came to our senses, I was in her car, and she was driving like a bally maniac to the doctor's rooms, where the doctor told me that I have infection in the wound! After bathing it in a saline mixture, she put a clean bandage on, and put me on an antibiotic course, stressing that I had to see her, or if we were away by then, another doctor in three day's time to see if my hand was okay.
But we were free, and the two scoundrels that we were, we actually didn't feel too bad about the white lie!

I woke up with the sound of the ferrie's horn the next morning, and after deciding that according to her snoring, Liz would be sleeping for quite some time still, I made my way down to the bit of beach I could see. But to get close to the sea was quite impossible as the whole beach was covered in a thick layer of seaweed that smelled to high heavens. So not being able to get close to the sea where I could see an otter playing in the waves, I went down to the jetty to watch the ferry that had just anchored spit out its passengers into the cold of the early morning.
I love to watch people, and I sat and listened unashamedly to peoples conversations of what they expected to find on the far away outer Hebrides.
My hand was aching unbearably, so I went back to the caravan, where I found Liz slouched over the table, looking at the world with bleary eyes, and then when I closed the door too loudly, at me with loathing. But at least she was at the second stage of her waking up and getting dressed ritual, that means her second cuppa and also second cigarette. The next stage was her shower, then another cuppa and a ciggy, then getting dressed and blow drying her hair, and voila, after two and a half hours, she was all ready for the day.
I fixed my hand with clean gauze, and some ointment, then started on breakfast while Liz got dressed, thinking that I would die if we had to stay at this place for ten days. I knew about Liz and her hours, and I did not mind in the least, as long as I had enough to do till she was ready for the day.

Just before twelve we were ready to go out and see what the island had to offer.
The road leading out of Uig went up behind the little village, and from the top you had a good view of the caravan home where we were stationed, and we could see that we were in the middle of all the activities connected to the ferries, and with the clouds hanging very low, and the wind scatterring paper wrappers and other fast food containers all over and around, it looked quite a dreary place to spend your holiday, and we decided to drive around for a while to see if we could find another cottage that we could rent.
We saw this wooden cottages after having driven around along the coastline, but as the place was still full of tourists, we never hoped to be lucky enough to get one that was not occupied. Great was our elation when we were told by a nice old lady that indeed there was one open cottage, just as if was waiting for us.  There wasn't many trees, or rivers, but the sea was near, and also some coffee shops where I could sit and while away the mornings till Liz was ready.
But we had no idea what to tell the kindly people of the caravan, but we were quite aware that we would loose our deposit, but at that stage I would have felt ok with loosing a few days's fee.

Isle of Skye

I was in agony with my burned hand, but luckily I did not have to drive.
Of course it was a mission to get Liz ready to leave, as apparently she was in the pub until three in the morning, and after I almost knocked her door down, she opened it, and told me in her low voice not to harass her when she is still sleeping!
So after one hour, a bally record for Liz, she was dressed, and we could start packing the car. The dogs were going with, so I knew I had to be well protected from the cold, as Benny always stood behind me with his paws on the back of the seat, breathing desperately, trying to get more fresh air, as he got terribly car sick. The breathe of that little dog was unreal it was so bad, so I sat with my coat on against the cold, as we had to keep the windows open, and it was already middle November and cold, and a scarf around my nose to keep that deadly exhaled fumes from getting into my nose!
Poor old Benny was just about the worst traveller ever, while Stouty on the other hand, took all in his stride, even Benny's breathe. I could not believe that Liz never seemed to notice that I was near to passing out every time we stopped! We headed southeast on the a82, Liz still a wee bitty morose, but I was not too worried, as she usually thawed after the hour of twelve struck.
Our first stop was at the Welly Shop just passed Tyndrum, where the dogs were let out for a pee and a drink, and we had a coffee. Poor Benny had to be forced into the car, and he put up a huge fight to try and get his neck out of his leash, and my heart went out to him, while I was also not too happy to get in and get bombarded with Bennys's killer breathe!
But we got started again, and continued on the a82 , through the beautiful Glencoe, whereafter we pulled off the road overlooking Loch Linnhe, and unpacked our breakfast and flask with coffee that I made early that morning. It was a glorious day, and to stand sipping a cuppa, looking out onto such beautiful a landscape was indeed a privilage, but it was bitterly cold, and soon we were freezing as a light wind started blowing.
It was getting late, as we had to stop now and then to give Benny a respite from his heaving and wretching, and Liz was getting uptight because she did not like to drive in the dark, and now it looked like she would do just that. Clouds had started forming, and by the time we turned off the a82 and onto the a87, the weather had changed completely, with a strong wind blowing in the clouds from the sea.
It was still light enough to have a look at Eilean Donan, the castle on a small island just before we went over the bridge across to Skye. We could take the ferry, but decided that it was better this time of the day where time and daylight was limited, to rather take the faster choice!
Liz was visibly shaken, and smoked one cigarette after the other, Benny was in dire need for a pitstop, and I had sunk as deeply into the seat to try and escape the icy wind and drops that was blowing in through the half open window. I wasn't insured to drive her car, well I never knew I had to be, as in South Africa you could drive somebody's car without that, so I couldn't even help her out.
When at long last we arrived at Uig, all four of us was in a bad way, and my legs felt maar a bitty lame, as Liz kept on driving off the road, so I tried to talk to her, thinking that she was falling asleep, but she shortly told me to shut up, for she was concentrating! I later realised that it was long passed five, that being the time she poured her first glass of red!
My hand was aching like the devil, I think from the cold, and I was getting a bit worried about it, thinking that I might have to maybe go to the hospital to have it seen to.
We were all happy when we closed the caravan doors behind the owner, and the wonderful warmth engulfed us. But we had to first unpack all our stuff, as we had frozen foods that had to get into the freezer immediately, then we had a strong and warm cup of coffee before starting on dinner, Liz taking enjoyable sips from the wine she was craving for, and the pain of my burned hand subsided enough to be quite comfortable.
We all slept like babies, dogs included, but when we saw in the morning that we were in the middle of all the activities around the coming and going of the ferries to the outer Hebrides, we were not so happy, as it was quite dirty and commercial.

Saying goodbye

The hotel was sold, and we were all subdued and very sad, but Joe assured me that the new people would like me to come back to them the following year, and as a matter of fact wanted me to stay on through the winter. As I was now so near to seeing my kids, I was starting to really miss them, so I told them that I could only work during the season, and they were okay with that.
Liz and self had decided to go to Skye for ten days after I stopped working, and we spent ages pouring over brochures and in front of the computer looking for accommodation that would not deplete our available funds too much. We decided on a caravan house at the harbour of Uist, where the ferries for the outer Hebrides left from.
The last few days before the new people took over Joe was morose, as he was not ready to let the hotel go, but in this business you need a partner or wife to help carry the responsibilities. I have seen through my years there a lot of marriages fall apart when owing an inn, as the hours are horrendous, and everybody is always tired. As most inns have approximately six to ten rooms, it is not always possible to get the help that was needed, and the owners had to do a lot of the work themselves. Joe and Rosanne were both very experienced in doing everything, and Joe could do a room as well as any. But his marriage had deteriorated up to where it was now, with Suzanne living in her own house away from the hotel. She still had shares in the hotel, and used to also cook, being a qualified chef, but as I said, the immense stress of running an inn is sometimes too taxing for marriages.
Liz and self had decided also to make as a present for Joe and Rosanne, a few caricatures of their idiosyncracies, me doing the sketches, and Liz the wording, and we would present it the night of their goodbye party. So inbetween my shifts I sketched away, and then Liz wrote the captions to go with it. The framer, who knew Joe well loved our present, as he said that it just like the two of them were, Joe with his love for a bargain, and Rosanne who lost it completely when the kitchen is busy, and people do stupid things!
I met the new owners, who were both two nice people, the man seemingly good with renovating, and the woman looked to be very good with organising. She had a long talk with me, asking a lot of questions, and then said that she didn't want Vince and Joanne, and offered me the job as head of the kitchen. I told her that I was not that experienced in running a kitchen, but she said that Joe recommended me, and he was sure I was up to it. Waau! I must say, I had almost run the kitchen on my own, as I did the ordering lists, and most of the cooking and baking, and also a lot of the other prep!
The night of the party dawned, and we all got heartily sozzled, and that after I had sworn off alcohol after Liz's birthday party. But my beau was there, and he kept the drink from getting to me in the kitchen. I anyway refused to quench my thirst with red wine again, so I was definitely not as geswaai as the others, and Liz and self was still able to present Joe and Rosanne with their respective gifts, Liz by this time really at one with the world! We were a bit apprehensive for their reactions, but it was all worth it, as Joe never stopped laughing the whole night, asking us over and over if he was really such an ass!
Rosanne asked why we made her out to be the world's biggest wretch, but everybody started laughing, and telling her that she was not a wretch, but a highly strung woman who gave them a lot of pleasure with her antics over the years!
Then it was the last night of working with Joe, and all were there, and the naughty souls gave Liz and self each a condom, telling us to behave on our holiday, and that after a lot of deliberation, the village had decided to try and keep us from old age pregnancy by giving us something for protection!
Of course everybody bought me a drink, as I were leaving just after we came back, but I later went to make myself a coffee, and spilled the whole cup of boiling water over my hand. It was terrible, and not wanting to spoil our holiday, I just put some burn stuff from the first aid kit on, and went back to the pub to say goodnight.
But I hardly slept, and lay with my hand in a bucket of cold water the whole night. It felt better in the morning, but my hand was one big blister, so I just covered it with some gauze, and went over to see if Liz was ready. She had promised to be ready by eight, but knowing my friend, I knew that I would first have to make her a bit cross for her to get going! Definitily not a morning person!
If you had read my previous posts, the pictures will make sense, if not, the ashtray: Every morning I washed it and tried to put it on an inconspicious spot, but Joe kept on moving it back. Then he told me to leave it on the counter in case it falls on the tiles and breaks! It was ugly with a crack through!
Joe always, when the kippers looked too thick, tried to eperate it, ending up destroying a few good kippers, Also, he always wanted to save money and loved bargains, from there the brush and the cleaning stuff that he Told Liz could be sprayed on the tiles and stuff, and just left, with strange results. Rosanne is a very volatile girl when roused, and we all treaded lightly when she was around!

Liz and self were asked to a party at the Ben Shaen, one of the other hotels, where one of the band members of the live band kept on trying to catch my eye. At first I looked around every time this youngish man looked my way, thinking that he was actually trying to catch the eye of one of the lassies that were full of life and laughter, but every time he nodded his head and smiled at me, and I slowly realized that he was actually trying to get my attention.

There was a lot of my friends dancing and generally enjoying themselves, and I danced with a lot of people, but as usual I loved doing the Scottish dances most, as it is such fun! My young beau came up to talk to me, but I was with a group of people, and he couldn't say much, but kind of got a message over to me to meet him after they finish at one. But I had no intention of a tete a tete with another younger guy who was obviously quite drunk, so just before one, I told Liz that I was leaving, and she decided to come with me and have a last drink at our pub.
We were halfway up the road, when suddenly a voice filled the night air, yelling plaintively for his Sweetpea. We had a good laugh, thinking that it was one of the village lads who had lost his girlfriend, but the heartrendering pleas followed us into the hotel, where we told Joe and the others that one of the youngsters lost his young love!
I went up to bed as I had to work the following day, and the next day I was the bally joke of the village, as this lad had followed us, and came into the hotel demanding that they get his Sweatpea, and when he spotted Liz, he got quite worked up, and accused her of hiding his Sweatpea, and only then did she realise that it was me he was looking for! Apparently there were a lot of saucy jokes bandied around, and I was teased mercilessly the next day.
But if that was all I could have lived with it, but it wasn't! The next evening as I came down for my shift, and stopped to get my pinny that hung on a hook at the door coming from the stairs, and this door was right in the sight of people sitting at the end of the barcounter, I was stunned into freezing into a bally salt pillar statue when suddenly the same voice of the night before cleft the air with a delighted: 'Sweatpea!' I stood for a good two minutes listening to this guy's happy utterings on finding his Sweatpea, then rushed to get out of his sight, and peeped cautiously around the door to see if it was indeed the man from that live band, and it was!
That shift was hell, as the pizza oven was in full sight of the pub, and every time I went to put a pizza in, this guy started begging for Sweatpea to come and talk to him! By this time the whole bally place was in stitches, and the waiters were calling me chef Sweatpea, and I was in a state of devilish shock and horror!
Then Chris and Gary came to tell me that the guy said he had to leave, but could I please just come and give him one wee kiss before they left. I of course said no, but then this guy, who had indulged quite heavily again, swore not to leave before he had a goodbye kiss, and Joe came to beg me to go and give the man a kiss so he could leave. At first I refused, but as the lad's plaintive cries for his Sweatpea just got louder and louder, I had to make a sacrifice for the peace of the customers, so I went, and under loud clapping and cheering, I gave him a quick peck! I walked back to the kitchen wondering how on earth I was ever to live this episode down, as the people here had a strange sense of humor and loved to take the mickey out of one!

All too soon my kids had to go back, and I was very sad, as I don't see them that often, and hardly knew my grandson. But life had to go on, and it was hard enough to cope with Joe leaning on me so heavily.
He did not learn his lesson yet with always trying for a bargain, and one morning as I was cleaning the bar, he came in with this minute brush. 'Darling, I bought you this thing that will make cleaning the ashtrays so much easier, come and see'. I rolled my eyes to his hand holding this little brush, and snorted softly! But he was on a mission, so he took a dirty ashtray, and after dumping the cigarette ends in the bin, he started laboriously to scrape the clinging ash out with his new brush. I was rolling my eyes like a bolting horse, as I just dump the ashtrays in the dishwasher after rinsing them, and voila, clean ashtrays. But Joe was adamant for me to try this thing out, and to see for myself how much time it would save!
I yes and amen'd, but the moment he left I put the thing away very deeply, sure in the knowledge that by the time he came into the pub again while I was busy cleaning it, as he usually went up to the cottage for a rest if he had to help with breakfast, he would have forgotten his wonder cleaning gadget.
Another thing that tickled me pink was an old, cracked ashtray with a picture of a Grouse, that he was kind of protecting like it was an artwork made of the finest porcelain. I would every morning after cleaning it, take this monstrosity and put it on a table against the wall by the pool table, so it was out of eyesight, but every day when I went back into the bar, it would be back on the counter.
One day Joe called me into the pub, a look of utter concern on his face, and asked me why I kept on putting the ashtray by the pool table, as it would break if it falls on the tiles! 'Yippee'!, I wanted to shout, but luckily kept myself in, as he looked so worried, but until today it is still a mystery to me. Liz and self had speculated a lot about it, and came to the conclusion that it was given to him by the love of his life, and maybe it was the only thing left about her that he could cling to!
One afternoon I drove up to Comrie, and turned right on a new road that I have never been on before, and, as I usually do, I turned off at a very small road, called Glencorrie. It was awesome, the age old trees that grew towards each other across the road, bathing everything in a cool green haze. This was just what I needed, as I found that when very tired or stressed out, there is nothing that revived the spirit like walking in a forest, or even just sitting under a green tree. Further up I came to a little cottage where one could stop and walk. I fell in love with the little cottage!
It was glorious, the road leading steeply uphill, and looking down on the farms with the cattle and sheep grazing contentedly, was pure bliss. I knew not to walk too far, as I still had the dinner shift, and if I get too tired now, I will have trouble at night. What a nice surprise when I found the road lined with berries of all kinds, of which raspberries were the most abundent, but it was when I saw a clump of wild strawberries growing on a slope that I realised how lucky I was to spend six months of every year in Scotland. The strawberries however was passed bearing fruit, so I took a vow to come and pick some the next year, but for now I was as hungry as a horse, as I didn't take my lunch on my walk, so I had a nice picnic a bit further on, as I wanted to see what else there was to be seen.

Steamboats and monsters

We were on or way to Loch Katrine, the only freshwater loch in Scotland, and according to some people, it is a lake, and not a loch.
I had first to help Joe with breakfast, as he had too many guests, and Rosanne couldn't make it, so we were a bitty later than we would have liked to start.
Loch Katrine is about eight miles long and a mile wide, and the name was derived from the Gaelic word 'Ceathairne', meaning cattle thief, or possibly also peasant.Historically the term refers to the cattle thieves who were marauding clans, and stole cattle in the area, one of them being Rob Roy, who was born at Glengyle house on the north side of the loch.The steamship, the SS Sir Walter Scot have been used on the loch to take visotors on sightseeing trips for about a hundred years, and it is a wonderful experience to still see her sailing graciously over the still waters.
But before the steamships were brought into use, a man driven boat, driven on  by eight very burly men wearing kilts, to the delight of the tourists, who just loved it, and this boat was called the Sea Witch, were used. Then the first screw driven boat called the Gypsi was introduced, and it was in great competition with the later Waterwitch, getting the wrath of the big oarsmen up, as they feared for their jobs, and one night the Gypsi disappeared without a trace.  It was believed that the men who had feared for  their jobs were responsible, and they were taken before a court. They however maintained that they had nothing to do with the disappearance, but that the loch's monster, the Water Bull had attacked the steam boat with it's powerful horns, as it protected the Galleys, and that he was responsible for sinking the boat.
The case was thrown out of court, as the defendants's Gaelic dialect could not be understood  by the court translater, and the culprit was stated as something unknown!
It was the last full day I could spend with my kids, so I did not answer my phone when it started ringing non-stop, and I just turned it off. I was really tired of that lazy Joanne who faked all kinds of shivers and shakes and nervous breakdowns when she had to work.
Jan rented bicycles for him and Renè, and Nina and self just strolled along the path enjoying the peace and quiet, and the lovely scenery.
We were going for a trip on the SS Sir Walter Scot, but the queus were just endless, I suppose because it was still nice and warm enough to entice tourists to Scotland, but we had a lovely lunch at the restaurant overlooking the loch.

Ben Nevis

On my first day off we decided to go to Fort William and try and climb Ben Nevis, the highest mountain in Scotland. We were ready very early, as it would take quite a climb to reach the top, and as I had made us a flask of coffee and some sarmies, we stopped along the road running through Glencoe, and watched as the sun started peeping through the crags and crannies of the mighty mountains all around us. It is a mystical place to be, with loch  Ahber twinkling in the early rays of the rising sun, and the cool air stinging your cheeks until they were red, and inhaling the fresh mountain air was to me like a new lease on my life! The recollection of my children's faces when they saw the steep and winding road we had to drive on made me smile, and very proud of my little Panda, as she went up and down like a champion, the sweety.
Glencoe is of great historical significance, as it was there that the Campbells, actually it was the Jacobites, with only a few Campbels under leadership of one Robert Campbell, murdered a lot of people of the clan macDonald. It is a terrible story, as the murderers took advantage of the macDonalds's hospitality in having them as guests, but all the time Robert and his fellow murderers plotted to kill their hosts. In the end they killed thirty eight people, and a further forty people, including children died of exposion after their houses were burned down. Glencoe was then named 'Mort Ghlinne Canhann', meaning Murder of Glencoe, in Gaelic.
However, Glencoe is breathtakinly beautiful and awe inspiring, and it is here that the latest James Bond film, Skyfall was made, and of course one of the Harry Potter films, Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban!
We just had a coffee in Fort William,and had the flask filled up, then we were off to Ben Nevis for the big climb. We took a throw-away barbeque thingy, meat and some other nice stuff with, as we intended to have a barbeque lunch when we got to the top, if we get to the top. The little road winding up the slope was not too steep, and it was also beautiful, with small streams bubbling happilly alongside, and sometimes we had to jump from stone to stone to cross a stream running across the path.
But the path became steeper as we neared the still hiding Ben Nevis, as it is not visible until after a quite a climb, but when it eventually rose up out of the mist, I knew that I was not going to make it that day, After a week of about ten hours per day on my feet, the old legs just would not be up to that climb.
Jan was horrified when after we reached the foot of our destination, I said that I would wait there, and do the barbeque to be ready when they came back, as his mother was always up to everything. He was used to me taking them all over South Africa on hiking trips, as their father had a serious heart condition, and could not do anything too streneous.
So we found a nice spot where I could wait and later do our lunch, and the three of them proceeded on their quest of Ben Nevis. About half an hour later Nina came back, stating that the actual Ben Nevis climb was too stiff for her, so Jan and Renè were going to attempt it, but, she said the higher you go, the more awesome and bigger the mountain became, and her legs were just also not up to that, and she doubted whether the other two would make it that day. So the two of us lazed around until we thought that it was about time to start the barbeque, and we had to laugh, as the people passing, and came to investigate the wonderful smells of minted chops cooking, were astonished to see us there, busilly cooking!
Shortly after we started cooking, Jan and Renè came back, looking very, very tired, and said that they had managed to get up about halfway, but as the going was really hard, it would be impossible to reach the top if not started very early in the morning. But at least we had a wonderful day, and I think a lot of people went down with grumbling tummies after smelling the aroma of our cooking chops!

The days simply flew by with the amount of work and of course my days off were always magic, they just did not last long enough.
Then my son Jan phoned to say they would like to come and visit, and see a bit of Scotland, and could I please organise accomodation for them that would not completely deplete their holiday funds.I went to see Emma at Immervouilin caravan park, as I knew that the caravan that Joe rented for Alex was still empty, and hoped that they would rent it to me. I was lucky to get it, Emma and self of course knew each other from the Inn, as she does waitressing if they were in a scrape with the regular waiters, and she let me have it for a really good price.
In due course they arrived, and as Liz took me to the airport to get them, they were very excited about everything I was going to show them, that is, until they laid eyes on my Panda. Their eyes did some serious rolling, and Jan then asked me with a bemused look on his face whether the car was actually still running! I must say, it might easily have been the oldest running car in the whole of Scotland! But nevertheless, it had never given me one moment of grieve!
But they soon relaxed as I started it the first time, and the engin immediately jumped to life, and took us safely to loch Voile and back!
My young grandson Renè was absolutely intrigued with the pub, where it was warm and cosy, and he loved to sit and watch the men play pool. Jan then played a bit with him, and from then on he just wanted to sit in the pub, and to heck with the sightseeing, and he got very upset on the nights they didn't take their meals there!
As I had to work till about twelve, and then again at six, I packed lunch boxes for them, and they went hiking in the hills, Ben Ledi, Ben Shaen, and also walked along the mountain at the back to the Kingshouse hotel. Inbetween shifts, if they were back, I took them to my favorite spots in my ever willing little Panda!
I had to laugh at Jan, who did not like to be driven by his mum, and after a a day or two said that he would like to drive. I never had a pain if somebody wanted to drive, so coming back from Callender I told him to get behind the wheel, and all went dandy, until we came around the first tight bend, and a big lorry came roaring from the other side, taking up the whole little road. He gave a thin little shriek, and put on the brakes with force so that we almost flew through the bally winscreen! Must say, he was white around the gills, and I remembered my first encounter with a huge truck, and when he said that he thought it better for me to drive, I just took it in my stride, but did laugh a bit at his discomfort.
They loved Christina's cove at loch Voile, so they got a fishing permit, and we went out for the afternoon, and had a lovely barbeque. Nina tried her best to catch us a trout or two, but they were not in the mood to nibble on her bait, but she didn't care anyway, she just loved to stand there with her own thoughts. Renè went for a swim in the loch, but turned almost purple after a few minutes, as the water is of course icy cold.It was a glorious afternoon, and I was sad when we had to pack up so I could be in time for my dinner shift.

I woke up with a loud birdsong choir in my ears, didn't know where I was and ran to the window to see what kind of birds were invading my room, but oh, goodness, my head felt as it had been cut in half, and being tortured seperately. Then there was a knock on my door, and Joe's voice came faintly to me, and only then did I realize that the birdsong was my phone's alarm! I opened the door to Joe, and he looked absolutely terrible, and asked me in a soft and faint voice if I was almost ready to help clearing up the diningroom.
I got dressed, not without sitting down and clutching my aching head a few times, and trying to fight off the nausea that was coming and going, leaving the most horrible taste in my mouth! After taking two pain tablets, and brushing my teeth, I started feeling a wee bit better, but every time I made a fast movement, the nausea threatened to overcome me. How and so ever, together Joe and self went very very slowly down the stairs, lamenting the fact that all the other bally birthday revellers could sleep their hangovers off, but the two of us had to clean the diningroom, and feed the guests.
Cleaning the diningroom was easier said than done, as it took ages to pick up all the streamers and clear away the glasses and plates ext., as we just could not work up a speed, seeing we had to sit down regularly to let the nausea pass!
But when it got to the vacuuming, we both actually almost expired, as the pulling and pushing movement did NOT go in harmony with our highly sensitive stomachs, and we took it in turn to either run for the toilet, or pushing the roaring and screaming machine! The noise alone was just unbelievably unsettling, and by this time Joe looked very yellow around the gills, and I suppose I must also have looked terrible, as Joe then said he would make us some or other concoction that might make us feel better. His regmaker (fixer) consisted out of worcester sauce, tomato juice and a lavish splash of gin! It looked and smelled vile, and it took some coaxing from my boss to get that lot down my throat, but I managed to swallow it, and indeed, after a few minutes I thought my tummy was a bit more tolerant!
That is until I started frying the pork sausages and the bacon! I do not lie if I say that I could literally feel my stomach turn, and I had to speedily turn off the gass and run for the toilets, feeling very sick, and very sorry for myself, and taking a vow that birthdays or not, I will never overindulge again!
I then took one of the kitchen towels and tied it over my nose, as I knew that I would not be able to cook if I could smell the food. Then Joe came into the kitchen with his first order, and he kind of staggered, then turned white, then red, and then he also legged it down to the toilets!
I managed to get the breakfasts cooked and plated, but as there was still no sign of Joe, I took off my towel, exhaled , and with a stiff smile on my white face, I softly treaded to the guests, put down the food, nodded my head, as I was not able to speak, and almost crept back to the kitchen. My poor head, the aspirins now worked out, felt like someone was hammering against my scull with a ten pound hammer!
Joe came back after a while, looking really bad, but I couldn't do another round in the diningroom, so he left the kitchen, and I watched him through the little window in the door as he stiffly, head held as still as a statue, took some more orders. It was the worst morning of my life, ever! But we managed the shift, but then Joe told me that Rosanne can come and do the baking if anything was needed, and I could have the day off till six when the evening shift started. It took about three days for me to really recover, I think that was because I'm not a regular drinker, and of course I swore off alcohol for ever!
I have posted the poem about growing old. I just love it!

Birtday blues

Liz's 60th birtday was drawing near, and her son, a very well to do bussiness man, decided to throw a big party at the inn.It was to be a purple party, after the poem about growing old, and wearing purple, and learn to spit, and a lot more revolting but wonderful things. Will try and find it, and publish it, although I don't know who wrote it. Anyhow, Liz asked everyone that was invited to wear purple, and also a purple hat.
As I had to be in the kitchen, with Rosanne who came in specially to do the buffet, I could only join the party after work, but was well plied with glass upon glass of red wine, and it being a real hot night, and the kitchen stuffy and there being no time to make a cuppa, I was only too glad for something to drink, and downed quite a few glasses. Rosanne was also very happy, and as it was with her, after a few drinks nobody should bother her, as she became a bally demon with the most colourful swearwords known to man.
But all was going well in the kitchen, and as we worked hard during the day to do most of the things, we had only to dish up the foodies nicely, so no sweat! Vince was also on, and he can be very handy with things like putting out food on the plates to look nice, and while Rosanne and self did some last minute prep, he did most of that.
By the time I got to the party, just about every one was very merry, myself included, but as I was Liz's good friend, I got special treatment, and her son saw to it that my glass was never empty. My loverboy was there also, and we had a wonderful time dancing to the sixty music that Liz had decided on, and we rocked and twisted, and twirled and whirled, and I did not really feel the effects of all the alcohol until we sat down for a while, and I promtly fell of my chair, my head now spinning round and round! I think the fact that I had not eaten anything was a big factor, but after a bit of tlc from the man in my life, I felt better, and fell in with the lot dancing a Scottish reel! It is amazing how uninhibited alcohol made one feel, and if it was not for the after effects, and the funny head that I disliked, I would have surely drank more at parties. I usually don't drink a lot, two glasses being my limit, but in Scotland that is almost impossible!
Hanna and Peggy looked marvelous in their purple dresses and way-out purple hats, and so did a lot of other people, and me, as somebody had put a strange but lovely purple hat on my head.
Poor Joe had a hard time, as Mairie, the one that came to look for him in my room, even under the bed and in the closet, was there also, and at one stage I saw her and Joe dancing past us, with Joe engulfed in her strong arms, a look of utter bemusement on his face! Her husband looked to be in no hurry to get his wife back, as he was having the time of his life with a group of his friends. Poor Joe!
There was a man doing caricatures of some people, of which I knew nothing, and when I was later presented with a funny picture of myself, I was quite flattered!
It was five in the morning when I was half dragged up to my bed, but even in my state of intoxication I knew that I had to set my alarm for half past six, as Joe and self had to clean the diningroom before we could serve breakfast to the hotel guests. But on that moment I felt too darn sick to care!

Shiny green pajamas

As we had planned to stay till after lunch, we went back and rinsed our muddy clothes, and luckily by now the sun had dried out our dew drenched other stuff. So we had a lovely breakfast of bacon, and that tasted marevelous, having been cooked over the open fire, and fried bananas, tamatoes, and toast, all cooked the same way as the bacon! Then we just lay in the sun, drinking our coffee, and laughing about the previous night's adventures. Liz however swore never to sleep in the wilds again, but said that she would still go on day trips with me. By twelve the water had heated up a bit, meaning the river, and we had a nice splash around to wash off all the mud, and we were actually both sure that our legs felt a lot softer than before! Mmmm! Maybe there is truth in the story that the mudbaths of the beauty salons soften up the skin!
Then we fried some sausages for lunch and made hotdogs with them, after which we reluctantly started to pack up, Liz more in a hurry than me, as her bottle of red was empty, and five o'clock was creeping up on us!
As there was no reception for cell phones in Glen Lyon, my phone started buzzing crazily the moment we got back into civilization, and there was about a hundred messages from Joe asking me to contact him as soon as possible! He had come to rely on me for a lot of extra things, like checking on the rooms, and ordering the stock for the kitchen, and a lot of other small things, and went into a panic if he didn't know where I was! I decided not to contact him before I was back at the hotel, as there was nothing I could do from where we were!
Liz's astma had got really bad over the past weeks, but I was losing sympathy with her, as after the doctors had stressed that she had to let go of her love for red wine and cigarettes, she still overindulged as much as before.Once when I decided to show her an article of the effect red wine had on people with astma, she got quite hysterical, and shouted at me to take it away, as she was NOT interested, and would I please leave her house along with my stupid article. When I said that as her friend I cared about her worsening astma attacks,she hotly told me that if ever I should bring her such a lying article again, she would cut me out of her life! She was the strangest person, but I never took her another article, and we stayed firm friends.
One morning at about four I was rudely woken up by my phone ringing, and it was Liz, and although I could not make out a word she was saying, I realized that she was in trouble, so I crept downstairs to put off the alarm before sprinting over to see what was wrong. I found her standing in her bathroom, her eyes wild, her breathing  harsh, and her whole body trembling! I knew that she was in the pub that night, and knowing how people ply you with drink, I was sure that too much red wine had triggered the astma, after which she as always got a panic attack! Had a bally fright on seeing her, and not knowing what to do, I phoned Hanna, who came over immediately, and phoned the paramedics.
She was treated by the paramedics who put her on a drip, and it was not long before she started breathing easier, and the time now almost seven, I said that I would take her to the doctor later, before I left to do the prep for breakfast.
Joe agreed that I could take her after I had done breakfast, and we set out at about ten, Liz looking like death warmed up!
She was with the doctor quite a long time, and came back with a new astma pump, perked up miraculously after inhaling deeply on the fumes, and then opened her handbag and took out her cigarettes and lighter. I had ENOUGH! After all the night's drama, I got so upset that I pulled off the road and told her that if she lit that thing, I would push her out of the car, and then she could make her own way home. She had never seen me so cross, as I am quite a calm person, but this time I just flipped.
She then put the cigarettes back in her purse, and told me that she would comply with my wishes but that in future I would not be welcome in her house, as I was a heartless bitch! I just laughed softly for I scored a point that I never thought I would, that being her putting away the ciggies!

Hysterical Lizzy

The midges were horrendous, and soon they were everywhere, in my hair, my mouth, my nose, and even in my ears, and the sting of this little smaller than small little monsters were quite sore, so soon we were burning and itching all over. I draped my pajama pants over my head and my face, leaving only my mouth open to try and finish my delicious apple pie, and a slit for my eyes, but it was useless, as when my mouth opened they flocked in, and I swallowed hundreds of the things with every bite, of that I am pretty sure.
So our lovely night sitting under the stars were spoiled, and we legged it to the tent, and zipped it up securely, and sighed contented sighs of relieve. We then maar lay reading and talking until we became sleepy and dozed off. But our safe haven was not as safe as could be, and after some furious investigating,  some of the midges found a way to scramble through, and start their torment again. It was terrible, both Liz and self scratching, and moaning, and the poor dogs were not spared either, so it was like a bally madhouse in that small one man tent.
Then the tent, that was not very stable to begin with decided to collapse on us, and we all went quite beserk trying to get out, but I had to find the zipper before I could open the tent flap, and by the time I managed that usually easy task, we were all quite hysterical, and with Benny breathing heavily because of his panic attack, the air inside was now absolutely vile.
When at last I opened the flap, thousands of half crazed midges engulfed us, so we decided to leg it up the mountain and back to the car. That was not easy, as we kept on falling in boggy holes, Liz's small torch not giving out much light! We were exhausted when at last we got to the top, and just fell into the car, muddy bodies and all, and watched the crazed little bloodsuckers hammering against the windows to get to us!

I had grabbed my shorts before making a run for safety, so I got rid of my muddy pajama trousers by putting on my clean purple shorts. Liz for reasons of her own had brought a pair of quite bright green and shiny chinese like pajamas that she had put on after we got out of the water, but she had to keep it on as she didn't bring anything else up. The night passed slowly, and at about two that morning, we were fantasizing about the full flask of coffee we had made and were far down at the river. We were later so worked up about this, that I said okay, I will go down and get it, and some clean pants for Liz, so weaponed with the small torch, and an old towel around my head, I made my down, but then Liz turned the car facing the river and put on her lights, and that made life much easier, although I still fell in many muddy bogholes! The clothes we had left on the rocks were soaking wet from the dew, so Liz had to stay in her muddy pants.
Oh, that coffee tasted like nothing ever did, and as we couldn't sleep, Liz sat heaving and shivering with astma and a panic attack, smoking one cigarette after another, while I had my nose to a small split in the window for some fresh air, not only to escape the smoke, but also the stench coming from the snoring Benny's open mouth. By about four the midges magically disappeared, and I sighed a huge sigh of relieve when I could open the window wider!
I eventually fell asleep, and woke up rudely by Liz shaking me unmercifully, and I could see that she was in a bad state! Her bally cigarettes, two packets of twenty, were finished, and if you want Liz in a panic, take away her ciggies! I could see that Liz was close to breaking point, so after some heavy begging from her, it was decided that she would drive up to the small shop and cafè a little way up the road, and I promised to get out and buy the cigarettes and beg some boiling water, as hopefully there would not be many tourists around at that time of the morning. I had sympathy with Liz not wanting to get out, as she looked devilish in her shiny pajamas of which her trousers was caked with mud! I didn't look much better, and with my flowery yellow pajama top on, with my backside covered by the purple shorts, and my legs covered in dry mud, I at least did not look as though I was a filthy sleeper!
There was already a group of tourists sitting outside, and now I hyperventilated, and asked Liz to pull the car as close to the steps of the shop as possible, but it didn't help, as I was still in full view of the people, so with Liz on the road to a serious bout of hysteria, I closed my eyes to slits, and ran for the shop, bits of dried mud falling off as far as I went!
The young guy serving me was very upset on seeing me, thinking that I had an accident in the mountains, but after I explained our night of terror, he was very sympathetic, even filled up the flask with hot water. The people outside was all agog and stared at me as if I was something from another planet, and when we drove away at last, Liz almost finishing her cigarette in one pull, I could see them talking excitedly, and I assumed they were wondering about the strange Scottish people!

Unstable tent and man-eating midges

As Joanne was unable to cope with the rooms, and after I told Joe that I refuse to also do that, he got another villager to help, and from then on I had much more time for myself, as this woman also did the bar when Liz and self were off, and also the diningroom on my days off.
Liz turned out to be a nice friend, and although in the beginning I had to almost pay her to go out into the wilds with me for a picnic, she was beginning to really enjoy it, that is of course with the understanding that I would have her back at five, as when the clock struck that hour, Lizzie opened her bottle of red. So I did not take her along every time I went out, for I loved it to sit in the wilds when dusk falls, as then the wild animals came out to dine, but on a few occasions she had taken her bottle with, and stayed with me to see what wildlife would show themselves.
Then after some heavy cajoling, Liz decided to go  with me and camp for the night at my river in Glen Lyon. So after Liz 's morning ritual that took almost two and a half hours, we packed her car, loaded the two dogs, Stouty and Benny, and off we went, leaving a lot of people thinking that we were stark raving mad, camping out definitely not one of the villagers's favourite passtimes.
It was a most unpleasant drive as Benny, the one dog, got very carsick, and he stood with his forepaws on the seat behind me, breathing out the most ghastly fumes in my neck that made me wanted to puke! He was quite old, and although Liz always cleaned his decaying teeth, the smell apparently did not respond.
As we started on the small winding road up to Ben Lawers and into the glen, things got too much for poor Benny, and he gave one gurgle, and puked all over the back seat, with poor Stout watching this disaster with big eyes. We had to stop and let Benny out, and the little thing looked so bedraggled, that I wanted to cry, but I was myself quite ratlled by first the smell of his breathe, and then the puking, that I went for a short walk with Stout following close on my heels, to give Liz time to clear up! I never had a strong tummy when it came to things like that.

But soon we were on our way again, and with me I think quite white around the gills, and poor Benny heaving and wretching, we at last reached the place where I marked my stopping spot by putting a lot of stones around the pole with the notice that it was actually a passing place. So if anyone ever go to Glen Lyon, stop when you see the stones, and enjoy a bit of the beauty that I so loved!
After the rain of the passed week, it was quite difficult climbing down to the river, the terrain very boggy, and every now and then one of us would fall into a muddy hole, and by the time we were down, we were covered in mud.
I had Liz promised to bring her bathing costume, as it was wonderful to just lie around in the pools, and indeed, as we just had to get rid of the mud, she disappeared around a big rock, and came out dressed in her swimsuit. But she at first only washed off the mud from her legs, refusing to get to deep into the water, but after her second glass of red, she was all game, and joined me where I was splashing around, the water not very deep.
We had such fun, but all too soon it was time to look for a dry enough, bogless spot where we could put up the tent. There was only a few small stretches of grass that would maybe do, and we picked the most likely spot where the tent would stay upright, and soon it was looking real cosy with the smoke from our fire rising slowly upwards, and our foodies all laid out. We had some lovely food, first the starter, that being prawns that I cooked on the barbeque, then we had minted chops and steaks, with potato wedges  from potatoes I had cooked at the hotel, fried tomatoes, and salad. It was yummy.  We were busy eating our pud, namely apple pie that was warmed on top of the barbeque, but not quite warm, and cream, when the bally midges woke up, and smelled our blood!

Hanna, Irene and Peggy.

Friday nights are local nights, as every hotel's followers came for their meal at the hotel of their choice, then stay for the night, reveling until the early hours of the morning, when some of them had to be taken home, as they would be quite high in their cups, and the new policeman always on the look-out for offenders! What I can't understand is the Scots way of doing the same things on the same days, with the same crowd, week after week.
The only ones that were not so predictable was Hanna, her sister in law Irene, and Peggy, an eighty six year old lady with the soul of a youngster, growing flowers for the Strathyre farmers day competion, also baking, and she makes the most delicious sweets, all for this day, when the designated judges would decide who's entry was the best in their catagory. I thought her wonderful, as she had the zaniest sense of humor.
Hanna was a quite big woman, also with a young soul, and a very flirty way about her, and although on her way to her seventies, she could still charm many a man into being her slave if she so wished. Irene on the other hand was a bit of a sour puss, and not very open to the nonsense Hanna got up to, but after a couple of glasses of the red voggies, she changed completely, and became a woman of flirty smiles and a much happier disposition.
Hanna and Peggy lived in the same complex, but Irene stayed in Cumbernauld if I remember correctly, and would come for a visit to Hanna about once a month. So, once a month Hanna and Peggy would dress up very smartly, and put on their lippy, while Irene would just dress in any old thing, and the three would then waddle over to the Inn for a night of fun!
As the night wore on, this three would get more and more sozzled, sometimes Irene would forget about her hard life, and her nasty husband who left her alone and died, and one night she got so happy that she gave the people in the pub a good rendition of an Abba song. As nobody by that time was thinking straight anymore, they enjoyed this a lot, and asked her for another and another, until she just collapsed at the table, and started lamenting about her lonely life!
Usually Joe would put on some nice romantic music, and the three would have a few harsh words amongst each other, fighting for the first dance with Joe, who loved them all, and was only too ready to comply! They would put their heads on Joe's shoulder, and it could be seen that it was just pure bliss to all three of them, who was by this time not too friendly towards each other anymore!
One night I went into the pub after work, and this three was in, enjoying themselves hugely by flirting outrageously with an older man, who was a guest at the hotel. Of course Hanna, who had real sex appeal, and a way of smiling at the men that made them like putty in her hands, was in the forefront, sitting very close to this man, while Peggy, actually a real lady, was not so forward, sitting sipping her wine slowly while eyeing Hanna from beneath hooded eyes, but it was Irene that caught my attention, as I could see that she was heavily drunk, and even more heavily upset, watching Hanna's overtures towards this man with eyes that spelled trouble.
They had invited me to come and join them, but after surveying this scene for a while, I sat down at the counter with John Dayton, who rented a flat in the hotel, and together we enjoyed the antics of this three ladies.
Suddenly Hanna and the man got up, I think to dance, as Joe had put his favorite 'That's Amorè' on, and Irene took umbrage to this, stood up on her wobbly legs, and told Hanna in a thin and loud voice that she was the bally towns bicycle. Oh goodness! Hanna was furious, and being anything but sober, in quite a fighting mode, and having had to endure Irene's bad behaviour about this man taking too much notice of her all night, she gave an angry yell, and went for Irene with intent to hurt.
Joe and John rushed in to separate the two, while I saw the cause of their misbehaviour quickly disappear through the doors leading outside. I don't think he anticipated that his night would turn into such a farce where two elderly ladies wanted to kill each other for his favours! Joe and John talked the three into going home, and as the only one of them that could really stay upright on her own was Peggy, Joe took Hanna, and John took Irene, and the two, maybe hoping for some more fun, went happily away.
The next day Hanna and Irene could be seen strolling around, their troubles of the previous night apparently forgotten, the best of friends again.
The photo is of Hanna in her lovely garden.