People were still laughing the next evening, and I had to also laugh, as it must have been quite a strange sight, me sitting about two feet higher than the driver, but as I had to bend down to hold onto his shoulder, my face was just about in his neck!
I was mystified about Lizzie's car running out of oil, and when I asked her the next day about it, she was very surprised that I thought the oil had to be checked regularly, and topped up if necessary! She thought that oil was only checked and filled up when the car went for its service! When I thought back how my hubby had drilled into me the different aspects of looking after a car, I had to smile, as he sometimes got so upset with me if I couldn't understand how everything worked, that he drew it all out for me, and I still had the drawings he made! But at least I had a good teacher. And in South Africa we have petrol guys filling up your car, and they always check the water and oil too, and topping up if needs must be. As Liz only learned to drive in her later years, I suppose using a driving school, nobody had ever taught her anything about the workings of an enjin.
The next morning I went off on my own, first to my loch, loch Voile, where I made myself a hearty breakfast on a throw-away grill, and then watched the sun playing on the water, sipping my coffee.
I was always intrigued by the strange phenomena of the effect the sun had on the water of the lochs. Before sunrise the lochs would be like mirrors, not a ripple, unless a fish jumped up, and started a ripple. But the moment the sun came up, it was like a magic wand being waved, and the whole water mass came alive , and the mirror like image became a living, moving being!
Then I packed up, and drove to loch Tay, where I was anxious about my wee wild ducks. The first year I came, I stopped at this picnic spot for a coffee, and there was this duck hen that came asking for a titbit, and then became my best friend, quacking mournfully as she waddled after me on her short legs, until I got in my car and drove off. The following year she had a man at her side, and the two of them looked so happy, just eating the crumbs I threw them before waddling off to the loch. Obviously she was not lonely enough anymore to follow a human around.
Then the next time I went there, she still had her man at her side, but now a third party, a big male, had come into the picture, and he was nudging closer and closer, and chased off by my duck's mate, but in the end a huge fight broke out, and the smaller one, which have been with the hen now since the previous year was chased off!

It took us hours to walk back, and most of the afternoon was gone before we got back to the car with the oil. Knowing absolutely nothing about how far the oil tank should be filled up, we really went for it, and filled it until it spilled over. Very proud of ourselves we got back into the car, and it started after a while, and off we went, but luck would not play along, and we did not even get around the circle, when black smoke started billowing out at the back again! Liz put on the brakes with gusto, and we screeched to a halt, both of us quite jittery by now, as the cars behind us did not think it funny the way Lizzy came to a dead halt in front of them, and they let us know how they felt by hooting, and giving some strange finger signs!
I told Liz that I would try and push the car off the road, and of course my muscles were not strong enough, and I was desperately working away, getting only ugly looks and some more hooting, but there are still some gentlemen on earth, as again a young guy stopped and gave me a hand. Strange that the older oompies(old men), never stop to give a person that is obviously in distress a hand, and they are also the ones that let rip with the hooters! never try and tell me that the youth is bad!
Lizzy then decided to phone her son who lived in Glasgow and ask for help, as we just did not know what to do. He told her to stay put, and that he would come as soon as possible, and would then decide what to do.
The sun had long gone to sleep when at last he arrived. Alan, as her son is called, is like his mother a wonderful dresser, with suit and tie of the best cloth, and black leather shoes that could be used for a mirror! He had a look at the engin, and looked worried, then decided to phone an emergency truck to come and get the car. As he was on his way to some or other seminar, he could not take us back to Strathyre, so he waited until the towing truck came, and asked the guy to take us back home before taking the car to the garage.
Why I am always the one to pull the shortest stick I could thus far not work out, but true to bad luck a la Christine, the guy looked us over and decided that as there was only one passenger seat, I could sit on the box in the middle. What was hidden below this box I did not know, but the thing was about two feet higher that the seats, and my head kept bumping on the roof, and this roof was bally hard, and I felt like a silly bird sitting on a perch, and to top it all, I had nowhere to cling to, and kept sliding off! And one thing this tow truck driver did was driving like he had ten bally devils behind him. When we got to the tight bends between Callender and Strathyre, and after I had landed on his lap about ten times, and almost flattened poor Liz, he told me to clutch at his shoulder to keep me on my perch, so I rolled the old eyes a bit, and clutched! I did and felt a lot  more comfy, as I could at least keep to my seat!
The Inn was busy, with people sitting outside, and all the drinkers sitting outside had a good look at us driving into the town, and the next day a few saucy remarks were made about me clutching the poor driver!

I finished the night without the flattop, but the next morning I told Tony that I will not work another night without it. I was a bally nervous wreck the previous night, and said that if it wasn't back, I would refuse to work, and look for another job! As chefs were very scarce, not a lot of them interested in working at a small hotel, Tony went into a kind of nervous jibbering, and he jumped on the phone, andI heard him speak to Theresa, telling her to bring the flattop back as it immediately! I should have known that she would have taken it, as I knew that she had got Tony so far as to give her one of the toasters! Without that it was also difficult if we had a full house, but I could still manage, although I have squealed like a bally old hag about it, all in vain!
At about ten Theresa's husband stopped in front of the kitchen door, and I sighed a big sigh of relieve when I saw the flattop being taken out! The rest of the Sunday was fine, as I had Gary, and the two lazy girls, whom I now ignored, and with me able to use the flattop again, I managed without a hitch!
I was off the next day, and Liz asked me to go to Stirling with her,. We made a date for ten, but when I got there at the appointed time, she was still in the early stages of her morning ritual. I have described it before, but will do so again! Once she is able to get out of bed, she make herself a coffee, lite a ciggy, then sat slumped at the kitchen table, sucking at the cigarette with nervous and long pulls, drinking her coffee with huge gulps, hands shaking like she has some kind of shaky sickness. Then she would make another coffee, have another cigarette, and then she was ready for a shower. Now all this smoking and shivering takes about two hours, after which she would feel alive enough for a shower. She is almost as bad as my son in law when it came to showers, and hers lasted for about half an hour! Then it was time for another coffee and a cigarette, by which time she would be coughing like somebody with a lung ailment. Then she got dressed, and after yet another coffee and cigarette, she would dry her hair, and put on her jewelry, which she loved!
Anyhow we were seated and ready to roll at twelve thirty, me fuming at the wasting of my precious day off, she all smiles and bonhomie, all at one with the world, as she used to say!
We were just rounding the second circle before entering Stirling, when all of a sudden her car gave a few kind of jolly jumps, and the next moment a thick black smoke poured out somewhere in the back, and then the enjin just died! And there we sat, blocking the traffic, so I got out to see what was wrong, and maybe get somebody to help push the car off the busy road.
A young couple did stop, and they helped me to move the car, and the guy then asked about what happened, and with this information given to him, he opened the bonnet, poked around a bit, then told us that there was no oil in the oiltank! He looked some more, then said that Liz could be very thankful, as the block or something like that, did not crack!
So on his advice, and the car now off the road, he undertook to take us to the nearest garage for oil, but as they had an appointment, he couldn't bring us back! He drove for bally miles before we came to a garage, but we bought the oil, and started back!

Having the children to help was  of no use to me, as at nine sharp, the two girls took off their pinnies, and giving me a good show of them being two wee angels by smiling like two wee angels, they hastily left the kitchen! Young Gary was still at the sink scrubbing away, and on my telling him that it was time to leave, he said yes, he knew, but will finish the pans for me. What a sweety! When he finished I made him a nice helping of chips and cheese to take home!
The orders still streamed in, and without Gary to scrub the frying pans, and a lot of steaks, gammon steaks, burgers and chops being ordered, I lost my temper completely, took off my pinny, and stalked into the pub, where it was absolutely buzzing, and told Tony that if that flattop is not back in the kitchen in five minutes, he could do the meals himself!I was so furious that the tears rolled down my cheeks, and people tried to calm me down, by offering to buy me drinks, but I was in no state to calm down, as my poor nerves were in a bad state!
One of the local women, Fiona, asked me what was wrong, and on telling her that I am alone in the kitchen, with loads of of orders, and not having even somebody to do the dishes, or scrub the pans, she was horrified, and came back with me to the kitchen, where she stayed for the rest of the night, scrubbing, filling the dishwasher, and doing salads for me! Bless her!
I was absolutely drained when at last all the meals were done, and the kitchen cleaned, and fell into my bed without showering, and lay for ages worrying about getting up at six again, with my body so tired and my legs cramping from the long hours.
I made up my mind that if the flattop wasn't back the next day, I would leave. If I couldn't find another job, I would go to the islands for a week or two, then go home.
When Tony came in, halfway through breakfast, I was cold and untalkative, so after ordering himself a breakfast, he disappeared quickly back to the bar. I was not giving up on my demand that the flattop came back, or I was leaving, and I could see that he was a worried man, cooks not readily available in the rural villages. I started wondering about what he could have done with the flattop!
When I took his breakfast to the bar, I asked in a chilly voice what he intended to do, and he told me that Theresa had taken the flattop away, and that she was very vague about its where-abouts, but would see if she can find it, and bring it back! What utter nonsense, and when Theresa came in, I demanded to know where the thing was, and she went all red, and told me that it was none of my bussiness, as Tony had given it to her.
I was slowly getting behind the working of this lady's brain, as so far a lot of things have disappeared, and on asking about it, it was always the same answer, that he had given it to Theresa! So I believe that she convinced Tony that stuff wasn't needed, and then she took it.

It was one of my most stressful mornings ever in a kitchen, and by lunchtime I was more tired out from trying to get the two girls to actually do something than from the work itself. As in Scotland children older that twelve are allowed to help out, they are not to use knifes, or work for longer than three hours, I still had a lot of prep to do.

As this things work, I was not prepared for big groups yet, a lot of time lost on talking to the girls, and of course Ewan with his small bus would turn up, and my tummy just did a few summersaults. The fact that the kids were not to use knifes meant that they also could not do the salads for me, and as Ewan had  thirteen people that day, plus himself, I hyperventilated! Badly! I just could not see myself doing them, plus all the other orders coming in. But Ewan is one swell guy, and when he saw my distress, he rolled up his sleeves, and did the salads for me, which was an enormous help!

And of course all the cars en route to the Oban ferry had to stop, and poor me was like one scowling old zombie, doing everything automatically, sweat running down my face, and my heart jumping around somewhere in my throat! When inbetween this Tony came in with an order for six scones, which meant that I would have to beat some more cream, which took for ages, I just exploded, and told him to do it himself, or get Theresa down! When I earlier asked the girls to do some cream, first the one, then the other had to go to the toilet urgently, and me having been so stressed out, never had time to do it up to this point!

I never got to my room for a rest until four, and as it was Saturday, I had to be back at five to do the prep for the evening. For that whole hour I just lay on my bed, thinking of my tranquil homestead back home, wondering about my own sanity in coming back year after year for more of this kind of punishment! But I so love Scotland, the glens, the lochs, and the beautiful mountains with the streams of icy water running down them, that I knew I would come back for as long as I could!

I went back to a chaotic kitchen, as a few more cars stopped for some refreshment, and as Tommy only came during my days off, Tony or Theresa had to do the kitchen while I had a rest. As between three and five it was usually quiet, the public getting ready for the evening onslaught, they could easily do the few scones or toasties that was the usual thing for that time.

 But the kitchen was in disorder, and I could see that I would have to do a lot more chips, Tony informing me that the public had gone mad, and everybody who came in ordered chips and cheese! Also the grated cheese container stood empty, and I use it a lot for lasanges and stuff, so over and above my usual prep, I had to replenish a lot of stuff.

My young helpers arrived at six, by seven I was still doing almost everything myself. The two girls were not there to work, and they showed some antagonism towards me when I showed them for the third time how to do the dishes, the pans, and keep my workspace clean. Both kind of stared at me with cold fishy eyes, and excused themselves to go to the toilet,. And that is how the night went. Every fifteen minutes first the one, then the other would tell me they needed the toilet, and the stayed away for up to twenty minutes.
The wee boy Gary, half the size of his twinsister Laura, was of different making, and he got stuck in and worked. He listened to what I told him, and it was a incredible how this tiny youngster scrubbed away at the huge pots and pans, and I was amazed to see how deftly he scraped the plates, rinse of the excess food, and loaded the dishwasher!
The only fly in the ointment was that he was so short that he couldn't reach high enough to be able to fetch me stuff from the high racks, or the top racks of the fridges.
When the girls came back after their twenty minute pee, I scowled at them, and  Francis then made a show of doing some work by taking a plate, open the tap a tiny bit, then held the plate underneath the small stream, leaning casually on the zink,  her eyes on the clock above the pantry door! Laura was not doing anything, and gary was doing salads for me. By this time I had no pans, and as the flaptop was not there anymore, I had to do all the steaks and stuff in the pans!
So I told Laura to clean the pans, and she nearly collapsed from shock, and said that Tony never told them that they had to scrub pans, and out she went, supposedly to tell Tony how horrible I was.
After a while Tony came back, his arm around Laura's middle, and I could see that she was putting on a show of utter misery, that for Tony's benefit,, and my neckhair attempted to all stand up straight! He then told me that they were brought in to do the dishes, and my running, fetching stuff for me, but scrubbing pans was not their job!
I exploded, and told him that in that case, he had better do it himself, as I was already behind with my orders, or I am quitting! So rather than upset the two girls further, he did the pans himself!
That was the start of many fights, as trying to get the girls to help took up more time than if I just did my own washing and scrubbing and fetching. As they were only allowed to work three hours because of their age, I still had to clear up and clean the kitchen on my own, but the blessed peace after they left was pure bliss!
I asked Tony for some help on Saturday mornings, because most dishes ran out on Friday nights, and I really struggled to get everything done before lunchtime, and I suggested young Gary, as he was a little trooper! But low and behold, eleven the next morning, with Gary already busy peeling potatoes, in sauntered Laura and Francis, who bolted straight to Tony when I told them that between them they had to wash all the pots I have used.
So in came Tony, strutting between the two young horrors, and I knew that his sympathy was not with me. So when he started asking me if it was really necessary for them to scrub the pots and pans, I flipped, and told him that I did not ask for them, only for Gary. He was in a flutter then, as I could see that this two girlies had him right where they wanted him, and told them that he would find them something else to do for the morning, and the three then left, giggling outrageously! I sighed, and made myself a cuppa, and gave Gary a coke!

I went back to work after my two days off, feeling on top of the world (well, almost). after speeding away from the black clad people, I had taken another small road from Comry that led up to the hill where my wild strawberry patch were, where I found a nice spot under a clump of trees to just lie and read, and contemplating life with all it's strange people. The unfriendly black robed lot was bugging me, as I was sure they were devil worshippers, and the fact that they came to one of my regular spots was to say the least, a bitty unsettling.
Anyhow, as always I was quite refreshed by my green trees, but while prepping for breakfast, I had this strange feeling that something was wrong. As I had only a limited time to get everything done, and then a busy time taking orders, making coffees and teas, and cooking breakfasts, it wasn't till after the last guests were served, and I made myself a cuppa, that I started looking around the kitchen, to see what was bothering me.
To my utter amazement, the flat top, a thick iron plate, warmed by a small gas flame, on which I cooked the steaks, chops, gammon steaks, and some fish sorts, were gone! I started hyperventilating, as without that thing, I was lost on the busy week-end nights. So I sat down outside, my head in a spin, wondering if it had maybe broke down, and was sent in for reparation. I calmed down then, hoping that that was the answer, and went back to start the days prep.
When Tony came in I asked him where the flat-top was. He just stared at me with a kind of challenging look, and told me that between him, Theresa and Tommy, the guy who came in to cook when I was off, they had decided that it was an unneccessary gadget that sucked up a lot of gas!
I just goggled at him, and then a fury so terrible welled up inside me that I wanted to clobber the little man, or squash him like an insect, and I told him that from now on his bally housekeeper can do week-ends, as she was such an expert in the running of a kitchen. I was furious, and stayed furious for the rest of the day, and when Theresa ambled in asking me to make her something for lunch, I exploded, and told her to do it herself.
I came down from my rest in a foul mood, as I knew how difficult the night would be, even though it was a weekday, which usually wasn't busy. And as during the week it was mostly locals, who came in for a hearty meal. usually steak and ale pies, or chicken and leek, or curry, I could use the pans for the occasional steak, or chops, but the worry of what I would do that week-end made me all shivery.
On Friday night, just before six, Tony came strolling in with two young girls flanking him, his scrawny pelvis pushed forward at an amazing angle, like always when he talked to a personable youngish woman or a girl. Following this trio was a small boy, no taller than my worktable.
The boy and one of the girls, an amazon who were almost as tall as me, were twins, and the children of Caren, who helped out some days, and the other girl was Francis, the daughter of my previous employer, and they were all about thirteen years old, two very lusty young teenagers!
Oh my good heavens, within half an hour of that lot started, I was so fed-up with the two girls that I wanted to throttle them. The wee boy, Gary, was however a little worker, and he got stuck in, and learned quickly how to master the dish washer, but the girls were there for anything but to work!

After the frenzy of the kitchen, I was glad when my day-off arrived, and it wasn't seven yet when my little car was packed, and I set of for somewhere where it would be cool, and calm, as my nervous system was maar a bitty frail! Tony would just have to get more staff in, as I just could not keep on at the pace I was going now!
I had decided to go to The Devil's Cauldron, just outside of Comry for the day. My favourite space around there was at the river, where a huge tree had fallen across it, and this tree was bent in such a way as to make for a comfy place to lie and read. The curves just fitted the curve of my body, and I had many a time fell asleep there. Quite dangerous, as I had to wade through the water to get to the tree, and although the water was not too deep, with lots of rocks, I think a person in a deep sleep falling into the water, could easily be drowned. So I always tried to stay awake!
I had already fell into the water once when I spotted two foxes skulking in the bushes. I thought, when I first spotted them coming in and out of the bushes, that it was two dogs, and wondered how they came to be there. When to my delight I saw that it was foxes, I was so intently watching them, trying to keep them from disappearing from my sight, that I leaned over too much, and fell straight into the river!  Nearly bally drowned, as my clothes were heavy, pulling me under the swirling water!
I read for a while, then made myself a breakfast on a throw-away barbeque thingy. It was lovely, as I had bacon, sausage, banana, which I also fried, toast, and tomatoes! And of course coffee!
I heard a car stop high up where the parking spaces are, and did feel a tinge of unrest, as there were a number of picnic spots, and I knew that some of the picnic making people became quite rowdy, liquor and beer of course playing a big role with the Scots!
So I sat waiting for them to come down, and when I spotted the first ones, a cold thread of unease ran down my spine. They were all dressed in loose black kind of overcoats, and the ones coming in my view after them, were all dressed in black. Not a sign of any other colour. I kept very quiet, and was relieved when they took the small path that led up to the Devil's cauldron!
The Devil's Cauldron is a whirlpool that swirls and gurgles viciously as the water from the waterfall high above it fell down with force. It is amazing to watch, but it had always scared me, and after the first time, I never went there again.
This black dressed people all carried black boxes, and that also seemed evil, so I just waited for them to be far enough away before packing up, scrambling havey cavey to the top where my car was.
I had a huge shock! Standing watching my car was two more black dressed figures, and as my head appeared from below, they turned and watched me with cold eyes, their faces without expression. I kind of squeaked a greeting, but they ignored me, so I just dumped my stuff into the car, and left with speed!

A working kitchen at peak hour is a busy kitchen, and as I was the only person cooking, I was spinning around, fetching stuff, turning frying meats, heating up and getting ready frozen stuff like lasagne, macaroni and cheese, steak pies, and many more, cooking veggies, grilling trout, frying chips, and fish, and another hundred and one things. As our menu was so big, it was really a struggle when say, a table of twelve come in. Then I really had to keep my wits intact, as of course, everybody would order a different meal, and of course, all the meals had to go out together, and warm!
So by the middle of the evening I would be sweaty, and my hair under my hat would be wet and oily from the steam coming from all the different cooking utensils! And if then, in the middle of ten or more orders, the chips would sometimes run out, and all my screaming for help would go unnoticed by the harassed waitresses, I had to drop all, and peel potatoes, only enough for the meal I was busy with. I usually have enough chips cut, but when Ewan with his bus full of young tourists had been in for lunch, usually just before I went off for my rest, I knew I was in trouble. But as I was already in the kitchen at seven every morning to do breakfast, I could not go through until the kitchen closed at night!
My day started off at six, by me running up to the loft of an annexe adjoining the kitchen to switch on the water, as Tony switch it off before going to bed. Doing this was one hazardous job, specially early in the morning, when your body still aches from exhaustion after the previous night, and your eyelids were still too heavy to open completely. The loft had no floor, and the rafters were about half a meter apart, and to get to the switches that was on the opposite wall, you had to kind of jump from rafter to rafter, and hope it didn't break, as they did look a wee bitty rotten! But my worst fear was that I would miss my footing, or loose my balance, and fall down the two flights and into the laundry. I tried not to look down, but I bally well knew that there was nothing to stem my downwards fall if I did miss my footing!
Then I would have a shower before dressing and and going down to do the prep for breakfast. By the time the first guests came down, I was usually wide awake, and ready for some chatting when taking their orders. I loved doing breakfast, as I met the most amazing people from all over the world!