Mary was busy cleaning the pub when I went to look for Lorna to tell her that I was leaving as in immediately, and she went looking for Lorna, who said that she did not have time at the moment to talk to me. So I told Mary that I would come back later then, and started carting my luggage to the car.

I wasn't halfway to the parking lot when a very agitated Lorna came running out of the hotel, and asked me what the heck I was doing with my suitcases, so I said that that was what I wanted to talk to her about. I have never seen a person who usually walk around with a scowl on her face, look so stricken, and she then took my arm and ask me to come to the office so we could talk it over!

I however had enough, and from watching her with young Andrew, Russel and Yankee John, I knew that she needed somebody to take out her frustrations on, so I spoke calmly and friendly, and told her that I am so stressed out that I was making unnecessary mistakes, and that my nerves were packing up!

What really got me, and strengthened my resolve in leaving, was that she just didn't understand that she was harassing people to such an extent that they turned tail and ran!

I walked out of there, my back nice and straight, shoulders back, after having greeted them all very friendly,well, only Mary had a sincere greeting, got in my car and drove off with a song in my heart. I couldn't say that  I did not feel in the least guilty, as I did!

I stopped at the Munro, my new hotel to get the keys for Irene's home from her, and she went with me to show me which of the three bedrooms was mine. Must say, was a bitty thrown about the state of that house, but with the love and hospitality that I was welcomed there was nothing wrong, and I soon felt well and truly at home. After the battering I had been through under Lorna, the atmosphere of friendliness and calm in that house was just the right medicine, making me melt like a soft serve on a hot day!

I later went up to the Munro, where we had a drink on my employment, and everybody came to wish me welcome, and my duties was explained to me. I was going to do breakfast with Irene, then I had to do cooking and baking for the conservatory, which at night was changed into a formal diningroom, while Irene would cook for the pub lounge. At six I was on again, and Han and Hanna, a youngish girl then served up for the pub diningroom, while I did everything for the formal one. Heaven!

I woke up feeling a wee bit groggy the next morning when the alarm woke me up scarcely two hours after I fell into my bed, and I must say, if my sense of duty didn't as usual got the better of me, I would have just turned over and went back to sleep. As it was, I was in the kitchen at about two minutes past seven, hoping that Lorna would leave me in peace to nurse my headache, as my head felt like it was cut off and screwed on wrongly, and my mouth felt very, very dry.Lorna appeared a few minutes after me looking like a greenish soury plum, her face all wrinkled up with disgust, but although I overheated my poor brain in an effort to think of something I had again did, nothing came to mind, so I decided that the little cowboy must be the unlucky culprit.
The guests were not in a hurry to come down for breakfast, and seeing that everything was done, I decided to drain the two fryers while I waited. I was just beginning to put the Deepio paste, a very strong cleaning powder that I mixed with water,on the fryer pans's insides, when Lorna came in with the first order, She stopped dead in her tracks, looked at me with disbelieve, then asked in her thinnest voice what the hell I thought I was doing!
I told her calmly that I had too much work to do the fryers her way, that is with a blunt knife and steel wool, and this way I just wipe the Deepio off, and rinse the pans thoroughly. As this fryers are sadly antiquated, the pans can't be removed to clean them, but I rinse them and drain them a few times after wiping the Deepio away. But Lorna was not to be appeased, and barked at me that I must be off my head, the Deepio being very poisonous! I was startled at this, and looked at the insides of the pans that were soaking merrilly in the sinks in hot water and lots of Deepio, the way she told me, and I told her that I can't understand her point, as the insides were soaked in the stuff.
I thought she was going to explode as she walked up to me, pulled herself up to her full length, stuck her bally finger under my nose, and shrieked: 'I have been cleaning fryers for twenty three years, don't you DARE tell me how to clean MY fryers!
That was it! I finished my shift, then went up to my room and phoned the Boys at the Munro Inn. They were ecstatic, and wanted to know what took me so long, as they wanted to ask me, but as it was a silent understanding that hotels don't steal emloyees from their rivals, they just hoped that I would give them a try!
They had indeed forty hours per week for me, but the only snag was that the staff rooms were all full, but Irene, their head chef, had offered me a room.
I drove back to my hotel, packed my stuff, and went down to give Lorna the news!

After this disaster with the Salmon that was sent back the whole bunch, except me, was down in the dumps, and I think it would take a long long time to outlive that one. I must say, to give Lorna her due, the hotel was beautifully run, and she herself worked like a horse, doing breakfast with me, clearing up and resetting the diningroom afterwards, then doing the rooms with Mary, then on in the kitchen while I had my rest, and nowadays she was on in the kitchen a lot over weekends, our head chef, her daughter of course always having a good reason not to come in during the afternoons for Lorna also to have a rest. So, if it wasn't a happy place, it was very well run, and sometimes I felt a bit of sympathy with my employer, specially when her hubby looked so deep into the whiskey bottle when he had to do the pub!
I went back to Hanna's party after work, and had a lovely time, dancing, joking, talking, and of course drinking! I am not in the drinking type really, but I was feeling so bad for feeling so good about the rotten Salmon, and tried to forget it by drinking too much. HA-HA!!!! Not true, I was in a party mood, and with Hanna's son Gordon plying me with drinks because according to everybody I had missed out so much on the afternoon's fun, that there biggest wish now was to make me feel happy!I also had a humongous piece of Lucia's lasagne, and it tasted devine, actually the best I had ever tasted!

It was a fantastic night, and there never was a lack of dancing partners, even if sometimes us women formed a group and danced away, the men not too steady on their legs by two in the morning! It was going for four am when I started thinking of going back, as I had to work at seven, but I could see that this was one of those parties that could and most probably would, go on for the duration of the weekend.
Bob, the village policeman who had relieved about eighty persent of the Strathyre men of their driver licences for a few years, eyed me a bitty suspiciously, and I was in a bit of a squeeze, as he was quite sober, and as ever, looking to get the drunken drivers off the roads.
I was gonna go on the small back road where no cars drive on at night, and very little during the day, and I tried to dodge the policeman's watchful eyes by working my way slowly but surely to the village shop where my little Panda was parked.
But I was not let off the hook, as he suddenly appeared next to me, and I gave a wee shriek and jumped about a meter high, but he was very kind, and on me telling him that I had to work at seven, he called his nice wife, who drove their car, and he took me and the Panda home! Phew!

If I had ever doubted the presence of a devine entity up in heaven, I was made to believe with a bang and a thankfulness that Saturday evening. Susan could again not come in, and I was beginning to get a wee bitty fed-up, as I was doing all her baking and cooking, as well as my own work, and as I had to be in the kitchen at seven in the morning, it was avery long day for me.
Saturday broke sunny and fresh, and after I did my shift I ambled over to see how the preparations for Hanna's party was coming on. In Strathyre the party don't only start at night when the guests arrive, all spruced up, but it all started when the first light broke, and the appointed balloon masters start putting up their bright ware all over the village, and a whole bunch in front of the birthday person's door. By ten all and everybody was out on the village square, where a lot of hands made light work of putting up the two marquee tents, bringing out the tables and chairs, and a huge cooler thing that was kept for this occasions to keep the beers cold.
A huge bannister, telling all and everybody that it was Hanna's seventieth birthday, was fluttering in the light breeze, and the atmosphere was just amazing, with a lot of laughter and joking, and with the music spilling from the boom box a kind of village fair feel enfolded the people who were prepared to do all this for a friend and fellow villager. I thought about the lot back at my hotel with their sour faces and their ways that just dragged my whole being down to the ground. I then made a promise to myself that I will fervently start looking for another job, or go home, as my nerves were absolutely shattered!
Everybody was bringing eats, and I had bought some meat and pie crust, and made a lot of steak and ale pies in Liz's house the previous day, and as I had to be back at work at six, I asked her to please warm it up when the time was right.
Lucia, Hanna's niece who was partly Italian, and grew up in Sicily, turned up with about six lasagnes, and this looked so amazing that my mouth started watering, but I knew that I might not have a bite of this, as it would be eaten up fast! But again the gods were on my side, as Lucia said that she would take out some for me when they started serving up!
All too soon I had to go back to my work, but as I would finish around ten, I was looking forward to a lot of fun to come. By the time I had to go, the party was in full swing, and Hanna decided to cut her birthday cake while I was still there. My feet felt filled with lead and my spirits fell to zero, but I managed to get away from all this mirth, and back to the most unhappy place I have ever encountered.
Maybe Lorna thought that I had too much to drink, maybe she just wanted to show her superiority, but she told me that this night I would do the assisting, and she the cooking. And that is why I say that the gods were with me on this night.
All was going well, and as Lorna had been doing this for many years, she was good, and I had just started to relax, when Richard came back with the two plates of poached Salmon he had just taken out, and with a face as long and green as a cucumber, he told Lorna that the people said that the Salmon was off! I knew that there was Salmon in the fridge in Lorna's flat, and she had told me that she had cut it up and froze it, implying that I did not do my job. But that was not my job, and as I told her, I had already two people's work on my hands, and she hissed like a bally Cobra, and flounced off.
The salmon is poached in a very strong mix of garlic and herbs, and white wine, so no funny smell could be detected, and thank the Lord, she did the poaching.
I felt my face pulling into a huge smile that I just could not stop, try as I would! Consternation reigned in that kitchen, and they were all telling each other that it was impossible to have sent out rotten fish, but the best of all this was that I had absolutely nothing to do with that fish, as it was handled by Lorna  alone, and she couldn't point her finger at Me! Haleluja!

The next few days Lorna and the little cowboy walked around with faces as stiff as and expressionless as plastic balls, and now it wasn't only me who suffered under the strain, as she was short and rude to Richard, but I overheard Katka trying to convince her that she had no hand in lending the car, it was all Richard's fault! Little bugger, I heard her cajoling Richard into borrowing the car, and now she played the innocent!
So now I was let a little off the hook, and when she caught the little cowboy with a glas full of whisky to his lips, her cup ran over, and she erupted like a volcano!
Friday night it was again me doing the cooking, Lorna assisting.We had a table of twelve people booked, and I got everything ready during the morning,as it was locals who had already gave their orders over the phone, so that that at least can go smoothly. But that was not to be, as Katka was at her best, walking around with a holy smirk on her face, having convinced Lorna that she had nothing to do with the crash. I was getting more and more frustrated as the evening wore on, as it was so annoying if utensils you still needed just disappeared into the dishwasher, but when I remonstrated with Katka, Fiona jumped to her aid, asking me if I wanted to do my own cleaning, and I said that it would suit me fine!
When the orders for the twelve people came in, I took all the previously prepared food out, and put it in the sequence that it had to be cooked, some of course taking longer than others. Then I got the stuff to be fried out of the meat fridge, got my veggies all lined up, got the plates out, ready for the salads to be put on.
I had checked with Mary's order list, and sure that all was out and ready, I started , Lorna at the ready to to the steaks and the venison medallions, and of course the salads, and all was done in good time, but when I started dishing up, one plate had veggies in, but there was nothing else ready for it.
I checked the list, and found that there was a steak and ale pie missing, and I felt my neck hair raising, as I distinctly remember taking it out, and why I remembered was because I had to still put the crust on, ready to be baked.
The pie was nowhere on the work table, and when I looked in the fridge, there it was, all done up, ready for the oven. I looked at the lot around me, and Lorna looked very guilty, and Katka just looked innocent, and I knew that Mary would never touch anything she had no knowledge of. But as always, nobody took the blame, and all of them just stared at me with their basilisc eyes, until Mary broke the silence, and got me into third gear, putting the pie in the convection oven that cooked it in about two minutes, but I was suddenly drained, and very tired!

The next week flew past, and as I went out on a camping trip to glen Etive, where I was sure to get my mojo back, the scenery the most beautiful in the highlands. The weather was good, the midges were kept in check with my trusted Tabard, and I just walked, and read, and swam, as there was nobody else around, except a few ducks and chickens that appeared from nowhere, and walked off into the wilds!
Then it was back to work, and my working week started off well, but for the poor Lorna not too well.
Richard and Katka, on insistence from Katka, wanted to lend the hotel wagon to move their stuff, as the place they had been living in had to be vacated, the owners coming back. They found a small room with a bathroom and kitchenette in somebody's garden, and seeing that they couldn't move into my room, they had to pay quite a bit more than what they paid for the wee cottage, and they were not too happy.
I tried to talk to Lorna, as I knew for a fact that neither Katka, nor Richard had a drivers's licence,

and from previous talks we had I knew that neither of them had really ever driven a car before.
But as the little cowboy was nicely sozzled by eleven, him making quite a few trips to the little store room, Lorna was in no mood to listen, and I decided to just leave things to go their own way, as it wasn't really my business, as I was made to understand!
I watched through the window as the youngsters got into the car, and was tickled pink when the starter was turned, and the car gave a roar, and then jumped a few feet, before the enjin died, the car about a foot from a pole. Richard tried again, and how he got the car actually going I will never know, but they roared down the wee road and onto the single lane Balquidder road, the poor enjin complaining bitterly, as it was still in first gear!
I went on with my work, and as the lunchtime was quite busy, I never gave the other two another thought.Then suddenly all hell broke loose, and Lorna was running around with a face as red as a beetroot, screaming out instructions to Mary, and telling me to go on without the little cowboy, as they had to go out! I was all agog with wondering what on earth was the matter as the two jumped into their small family car, and roared of on the road that the youngsters had taken earlier.
After a long while, and long after my shift should have ended, I saw a sorry cavalcade coming up the road leading to the hotel. First was the hotel wagon, driven by a fire spitting Lorna, and this once beautiful vehicle was looking sad indeed, the right side doors clean gone! Then followed the little cowboy, and I could see that if he was not contained, we would have a murder on our hands!
It turned out that Richard had a passing place close to them when another vehicle came from the front, and as it was custom that the one closest to a passing place should wait for the other car to pass, the other car took it for granted that Richard would stop. But it wasn't just a car, it was a big delivery truck, and instead of stopping, Richard put his foot on the petrol, and the two vehicles smashed into each other, luckily not head to head, and the two youngsters were left with one side of the wagon ripped off!
The poor Katka was looking all but her usual perky self, and Richard was creeping into the hotel like a cat on a mission to steal some cream, not looking to left or right, and on closer inspection I found that he was shaking like a leaf!
 Lorna then asked me to work longer, and as it was now almost time for me to come back on, and me not the  miserable type, and feeling real sorry for them, I said that I would work on. It was nice not to be under fire from Lorna's tongue for once!

The next week was quite calm, except that I was so irritated by the young girl Katka, who is till turning down the gas whenever I was busy elsewhere., and running off with my utensils before I was finished with it. It drove me up the wall, but I think my way of just looking at Lorna when she was raving away with expressionless eyes managed to unerve her a wee bit, or maybe she felt bad about the matches episode, for not owning up that she might have taken a second box out. But how it may be, she left me alone, and the next saturday I went off directly after my shift to the Munro Inn, where Moira Kerr was to sing.
I loved Moira, as she has a beautiful clear voice, and the personality to really do justice to the old Scottish songs that she loved to sing.
The pub lounge was packed, as only the Strathyre people can pack themselves into a room, and the atmosphere was just amazing, everybody clapping and singing along, and I could see that Moira loved it when people joined in.
The only fly in the ointment was one of the women called Suzy, about my age, but boy, was she still pretyy, with a lively personality to go with it. She and Angy, one of the nicest women in Strathyre had just come back from a holiday together, somewhere in Spain, They had enjoyed their holiday to such an extent that they just couldn't stop talking about it, and now, with Moira getting a bitty upset, Suzy, oblivious to her surroundings, had found someone who had not yet heard about the holiday, and she was telling  all in a loud voice!
I thought it so rude, and so did a lot of other people, and they shoo-ed, and hissed to no avail, Suzy so wrapped up in her story that nothing could upset her. It was actually strange, and it must have been the excitement still lingering, as she was just not a rude person in her everyday life. But on the other hand, the drinks were flowing freely, and listening to the applause Moira got after every song, they were all quite sozzled. I could not take more than one glass of wine, as of course I had to still work.
The Boys, owners of the hotel, was exceptionally nice to me, and very interested in how I was doing, so I told them that it was really hard working for Lorna, but kept mum about what was really going on, as I didn't think it right to talk about a rival hotel. On thinking back later, I wondered about their interest, and a small wee devil woke up in me, and tried to convince me that they wanted me to go and work for them.
According to etiquette, hotel owners around the district did not lure people away from their place of employment to come and work for them.
I started toying with the idea of phoning them, but as I knew that Irene was still the chef there, and they had a guy called Han that cooked at night, Irene refusing to do evening shifts, I was putting it off, as I would not have got over the disappointment if they didn't want me.But when Lorna came in again that night, hissing like a bally snake because I was still in the kitchen ten minutes after my shift ended, counting the orders, and throwing them onto the table, not even trying to enquire why I was still there, I went up and sat with the phone for ages, too scared to find that that gate wasn't open after all!

I came back from my days off feeling more optimistic, as I had a lot of nice events coming up. Firstly it was a nice afternoon at the Munro inn where Moira Kerr were going to sing, to which I was invited, then it was Hanna's seventieth birthday party the next Saturday, and as the villagers do, they were going to make this a memorable affair. This party will of course start at about ten in the morning, and could end three days later! The Scottish just know how to make every occasion count!
So I went down to do breakfast with a song in my heart, and indeed, it was so nice, as there was only six guests in, so I was doing it on my own. I loved the interaction with all the tourists and missed it now that I only do the cooking. My big love came in looking for the little cowboy, and my legs went all lame, but I kept a straight face, as I had no intention of letting him know my feelings.
Then Lorna waltzed in, eyes roving all over to detect any irregularities, then she skittled off to the diningroom to see if all was well there, and I stood with the big knife, and felt like pinning her to the door like one of those knife throwers! But I just went on with doing the prep, and as Lorna didn't come back, supposedly having gone up to do the rooms, I was at one with the world, a wee little cold wind blowing in when the little cowboy started prowling around.
At about eleven Susan also arrived, and very importantly started to go through the fridges and freezers, as she had to come in that night, a big party of twenty four having booked, and I could not manage that alone, and Mary wasn't working, she only doing waitressing over the week-ends. I just laughed, as every bit of baking and cooking in that place was done by me, but Lorna and Susan discussed the serving up and all that was going with it, without once consulting me about the specials that was very South African, and, like the Bobotie, is served with special rice cooked with spices and raisins.
I must apologize, as Susan asked me all about my special dishes after her mum left, and I realized that she was actually very scared of her mum's sharp tongue, as I have heard a few times before how the poor girl was raked down by Lorna.
Then Lorna came back with the little cowboy in tow, and he asked me if he could use a stove plate, as he wanted to cook himself some breakfast.
Suddenly all hell broke loose, and the little cowboy went quite beserk, shouting in a voice to rival Lorna's thinnest, that he was sick and tired of waste, and who the ........ had taken out two boxes of matches, and all the while his wild eyes that resembled two shiny black pebbles were on me, a look of almost hatred in them.
As I have been off for two days, and definitely did not take out an extra box of matches, I gave him back eye for eye, but I did notice a stricken look on Susan's face, telling me clearly that she was the culprit. What really had me dumb-founded was that she didn't tell her dad that it might have been her, neither did Lorna tell him that I was just back from my two days off! Indeed a disfunctional lot!
But I just went on with my prep, not taking any further notice of any of them, but I was trembling with suppressed rage, and kept on telling myself that my wonderful days off made up for all this stupidity,and boorishness, and I felt quite proud of myself for not showing the lot that I was actually upset.
This just strngthened my resolve to go home if I did not get another job soon, a possibility, as a lot of chefs just can't cope with the small Highland hotels.
Apart from all this I still have Katka to cope with, and as she can't or won't understand when I tell her what I wanted done, there was many a day that I could easily have floored her with a spatula or pot!

I was off on Monday, and happy to be getting away from the lunacy of that hotel. The problem was that so far my nerves stood up to all the battering it was exposed to, but I was so stressed out when Lorna was in the kitchen, always on the moan, and if the hot water urn wasn't full enough, I was working too slow, or I didn't cut the ciabatta open correctly, and a trillion unimportant things, and although I mostly ignored all this, I was making unnecessary mistakes, not always reading the orders, and once or twice I gave chips with food that usually go with chips, but the clients had asked for mash or new potatoes.
Another hazard that had invaded my life was in the form of another friend called Anna, who have started phoning me at between two and three in the morning, begging me to come to her, as she couldn't breathe. The first night this happened, I was absolutely terrified, as I could hear over the phone that she was in real difficulty, so I dressed hastily, and roared off to Strathyre.
When I got there, I found Anna as drunk as a skunk, not able to move, sitting at the table, dribbling like a teething baby. There was no sign of an asmatic chest, so I helped her to bed and admonished her for faking an illness, as I had to be in the kitchen at seven, and I was already a mess without this added stress. But she just looked at me, and when I had dumped her in her bed, she clung to me crying, but I had no sympathy, and just wanted to go back to my bed. From then on this happened almost every night that she went on a drinking spree, meaning about three times a week, until I got so fed-up that I started to put my phone off at night, but the moment I forgot to do that, as sure as anything, Anna would phone with her fake illness.
Hanna and self had decided to go to Pitlochry on Monday, and I was really looking forward to that.
So on Monday early I was up, had my flask filled with coffee, and drove to pick up the already waiting Hanna.
We had a lovely day, as Pitlochry is quite a lively little town with nice shops, and we had fish and chips at a certain chippy, as when people heard where we were going, they were like one man in recommending us to lunch there.
I loved the little wire lady, with her dress covered in beautiful ivy, and a basket full of  colourful flowers! Very ingenious, I thought!
I told Hanna that I was on the brink of going home, and she was very upset, as it was almost her seventieth birthday, and she wanted me so much to be there. To look at this vivacious woman nobody could dream that she was turning seventy, as she was still up to any amount of fun, and although I couldn't take her with when hiking in the mountains, or swimming down a glen in a river, there was a lot we could do together.
At the end of that wonderful day out, I was again feeling a lot better, and promised Hanna that I wouldn't do anything rash!

It was Saturday night again, Susan was not coming in, and Lorna and self was in the kitchen, me cooking, she assisting. It was just not easy working between Lorna and Mary, who was doing the waitressing, and who, after having worked there so long, always had a wee egg to lay about everything.
She insisted on calling me Hen, a name people use as a kind of expression of goodwill, and I was now quite used to it, but I must say, when she first called me that, I was a bitty startled. As I said, after so long being friend,  as well as employee to Lorna, she was aquainted with all aspects of the hotel, except that she couldn't cook, but that did not stop her from interfering in all that was done in the kitchen when she was around.
I was looking for a specific plastic cannister one day, when she looked at me in a puzzled way with her big brown eyes, and asked me what I was looking for. On answering that I was looking for a plastic container, not mentioning that I wanted a specific one, she threw her arms in the air, looked at me in the greatest astonishment, then waved her hands around the storeroom where umpteen containers were packed in neat rows, before telling me that the whole one wall was stacked with plastic containers, and if I would only look, I will see that! She then flung out of the storeroom, sure to be telling Lorna that her assistant chef was either blind or stupid, as she stood looking at all that containers, but didn't see them!
But this night that I am at now was a bally nightmare, and when we got an order for venison medalions, the evening got really bizarre! Venison medalions are very thin, and should not be overcooked, so as always Lorna was waiting for my veg and chips to be ready before frying them for a few seconds on each side, and the timing had to be right, as the moment all my stuff was on the plate, the medalions had to be ready to go on. Susan and self had this down to a tee, and between us everything was always ready on time, but Lorna of course had to remind me every few seconds to tell her when the stuff was getting close to being done,and I just gritted my teeth and kept my pose.
But then Mary came back from the diningroom to fetch the food, and I had just told Lorna to start on the medalions, and was busy plating up the veg and chips, all going so smoothly, until Mary said in her hoarse voice: 'No, no Hen, the meat is always plated up before the chips!', and poor Lorna who was concentrating desperately to get the medalions just right was thrown off balance for a second, and as the meat is usually dished up first, she got a bitty confused and asked me in her thin voice what the hell I was doing.
I was so ready to bash her over the head with a plate, but realized that she was confused by Mary's remark, so I just said in my calmest voice that the plates were ready for the medalions, and that brought her back to reality, and the medalions were safely plated!

Katka had now started to dress so provocatively that I sometimes felt quite ashamed when she kept on going into the pub, and it was just so outrageous the way she flaunted her body. Then one night Lorna had to go somewhere, and as it was a Friday night, and Friday nights being busy, it was decided that Richard would do the bar as usual, but the little cowboy would do the diningroom, where he was away from the booze, or so Lorna thought.
Katka as usual had to assist me, and when she arrived the poor little cowboy alomost had an apoplexy, as she was dressed in a pair of jeans so low cut that half of her cheeks were hanging out, but to make it even worse, she was wearing a full g-sting, the string going up to her waist where it joined the piece of frilly elastic.
When Richard, who had been on duty all afternoon came into the kitchen and saw this apparition he almost had a kingsize fit, and called her outside, and peeping through the window I saw him giving her a scold, and looking at her clothes with angry eyes. He was not a happy chappy, but I could see that she was not in any way upset by his tirade, just looked at him with defiance, and I could see trouble brewing.
If the bally girl would just have stayed in the kitchen where she should have been it wouldn't have been to bad, that is if the little cowboy did not pass out from pure lust, his eyes rolling dangerously every time she came into his sight.
First she tried the bar, where the local men were having a drink before going home, and I saw the poor cowboy almost having a fit on seeing her arranging the glasses on the rack, in full view of the men, whose eyes were all popping out a few inches. I called the girl, as I needed clean stuff, and she came back with her bottom lip almost on the ground, giving me a very dirty glare, and a very sexy smile to the little cowboy, who was now not looking very lusty anymore.
Then Richard came in, and between him and Neill they had a go at her, and the cowboy told her that he forbade her to leave the kitchen again, as I needed all the help I could get, the diningroom extremely busy!
I finished the next meal, and rang the bell for the little cowboy, but Katka had had enough of procrastinating in the kitchen with nobody but me to admire her attire, and she grabbed the plates, just as Neill came through the door, and almost sprinted down the corridor, making for the diningroom while the poor cowboy gave a strangled cry and set of after her at full throttle, yelling for her to stop.
She was not to be stopped, and what happened in the diningroom I never found out, but the little cowboy came back scowling, while Katka came back looking very defiant.. Knowing his sharp tongue, I think he must have crushed the poor girl, but I was oh, so wrong, as a little while later when the little cowboy was outside on a smokebreak, the bell from the diningroom beckoned, and this girl
saw her chance, and set off again.This time the little cowboy was stupefied, as what Katka was doing was so terribly disrespectful that it just blew my mind, and I think his too!I found it in my heart to be sorry for him!

I was not Happy! This people I found to be my worst nightmare haunting the bally daylights out of me, and I was contemplating to go home, but Hanna and Liz got really upset with me, telling me that I have to just stick to my guns, but that was easier said than done, as I knew why I was chosen to be the baddy. One light point was that Susan, the 'head of the kitchen' and self were getting along very well, and she just recommended that I ignore things that seemed to be churlish, not naming her parents, but I knew what she meant.
But the constant bickering from my employers was trying to undermine my self confidence, and I was making a lot of mistakes that was unneccesary, and when I met Russel in Callender once, he couldn't believe that I was still there. I then found out that people took bets when I started at this hotel about how long I would stay there, as not one of them, except Irene, who was now the chef at the Benn Shaen, stayed for longer than three weeks!
One morning while doing prep I found that there was no potatoes for mash, but there was a lot of new potatoes that was too big to use, and as I knew that it was going to be a busy lunch time, I decided to peel the largest ones and do some mash, and do more when the little cowboy came down and go to the shops, me not knowing at what time the veg would be delivered.
I was happily doing that, standing on my healthy leg, when Lorna and the little cowboy came into the kitchen to get themselves a breakfast. On seeing me peeling the new potatoes, and remember, I was now working here for two and a half months, and boiling new potatoes every morning, she stopped in her tracks, looked at me in horror, and exclaimed in a thin voice: 'Christine, you do NOT peel new potatoes, what is wrong with you? You just wash them!''
Standing behind her, his face a picture of innocence, the little cowboy just had to put his penny in the poorbox: ' Yes!Yes! You don't peel new potatoes, just wash them, the skin just in disintegrates!'  I clamped and unclamped my hands! 'Oh Lord', I prayed, 'help me, or I am going to commit one gruesome double murder!
I tried to stay calm, and told them that as I couldn't find the little cowboy earlier, and the greengrocers hadn't delivered yet, I was using this bigger new potatoes to make mash, seeing that it was becoming late, and sausage and mash was a very popular lunch time meal! This old battle ax, instead of giving just a tiny bit of recognition, knowing that they had been a bitty silly in not enquiring about the potatoes, just stormed out, the little cowboy, now not looking so self satisfied short on her heels!

I was dying, well almost, my knee being stiff and sore, but I did breakfast without saying anything about my leg to Fiona, and when doing prep I stood on one leg to rest the other one. By the time I had done everything, and lunch, and I was ready for a lie down to have my leg feeling better for the dinner shift, as Susan was again not coming in. It was very quiet at six when I started, although later on it became quite busy, and I was glad and hoped that people would go somewhere else for their dinner. It was extremely hot, and as I had done everything neccesary, I decided to sit down outside for a few minutes before the rush. The next cartoon I made up that night to calm myself down, as I could depict the lot as how I saw them. The story is mostly true, just a bitty embelished!

As a matter of interest, I sat outside for about ten minutes, because I had to rest my leg!

The day after my fall in Glasgow I did not go up a mountain or down to a river that usually runs far below in a glen, as my knee was quite stiff, and I decided to just take a rest and spend a peaceful day visiting my friends that I sometimes neglect a wee bit. I prefer to go out alone, as Hanna wanted to be back at five when her soapies started, and Liz wanted to be back to open her bottle of red! To me the most beautiful part of the day was at sundown, when the animals came out to play and eat, and I had seen some wonderful things happening by just sitting quietly.
Dusk is the time when the rabbits come out to play, and to sit and watch the babies come out, first their noses, quivering with fright in case there was some bird of pray, or fox close by, but when they found all safe, they really made me laugh out loud many a time with their antics.
Hanna was at home, and invited me to lunch, and I gladly excepted, as she always brings out the lovliest eats, and I just love her chips.
We were sitting in her garden after lunch, when Fiona came passed and stopped to say hi. She worked at the village shop where she runs the post office as part of her duties, and if Fiona feels like a tittle tattle, you have to kind of get yourself ready for a long afternoon, as she would bring a bottle of red wine, and if that is finished Hanna would scratch around her cupboards, where she would usually dislodge some or other kind of alcohol, and if that is finished before Fiona's partner Ewan came back from work, Fiona would sprint to the village shop for more wine.
It was always so nice and friendly, and we were later joined by Liz and Emma, and as we laugh a lot, and of course talk a bit about the odd and other people in the village, all of us would be nicely alcohol infused by the time Ewan drove passed. On seeing his car, if Fiona still had a bit of sense left, she would hurry over and call for him to come and join us. Sometimes he did, but he had learned by now to get Fiona home to cook something for her hungry family  while reason still prevailed.
Hanna refused to let me go back to my hotel, as she was very sure that I never eat anything when I am on my own, and although she was quite unsteady on her legs, and the utensils kept on cluttering to the floor, making both of us laugh uproariously, she managed to cook quite a decent meal.
I was also a bitty sozzled, and as the new policemen had during the space of about six months relieved eighty persent of the Strathyre men of their drivers licences for a few years for drunken driving, I was not taking a chance, and Hanna made some strong coffee to sober me up, and we had decided that I would take the small backroad back, just in case.
I feared the back road, as the huge pine trees that lined this excuse for a road, grew steeply down the mountain side, and had the habit of falling over every now and again, and a lot fell across the road. I was quite neurotic about a tree falling on my little Panda, and had many a near collision with another car or a bicycle, for I just put my foot down and roared through the forest, and that was a bit silly of me, as the road was hardly wide enough for one car, and there were passing places everywhere.
But I made it back safely, my injured leg aching unbearably all of a sudden, and I was worried as I had to work the next day, and there was just nobody that could take over, Susan not coming in at all during the day now.

My day out to Glasgow started well, but ended in a bit of a disaster, luckily not too serious.
After my usual breakfast at Burger King, where I relished again their delicious potato scones, I walked down to my bank to deposit my money, then went on a shopping spree, as there was just the most fantastic shops in Buchanen  street, specially the one who sells famous brand lotions and potions to soften the skin and fill up the old wrinkles that were becoming more and more evident! And this wonder cures were sold at unheard of prices!
I was walking along merrily, minding my own bussiness, my purse a bitty lighter, but two small bottles of skin rejuvenating lotion putting some weight in my bag, when suddenly, from a shop door, a young guy came sprinting out, a big box in his arms, and just as I put my left foot forward, his foot kind of caught on mine, and the two of us went sprawling! The last thing I remembered was the young man's startled face as he realized that he was going to floor me, and I felt my head make a cracking sound on the pavement, and then I was a gonner for a minute or so!
I woke up to a big crowd around me, and I heard somebody shouting that he thought I got shot, while someone else said no, he never heard a shot, but it could be that I was knifed down. Bending over me was the young guy who caused the accident, and his face was all crumpled up, and he was saying over and over: 'Please don't die, please don't die!' I thought he was going to kiss me when I opened my eyes, but he only gave a cry of happiness, and then tried to get me up, wanting to know if I was hurt, and if yes, where!
I felt a pain in my left leg, the one that his foot got entangled with, and when I tried to stand up, I found it quite impossible.The crowd had now started to disperse, the excitement gone now that they could not see a bullet wound or blood pouring from an open stab wound!
'I'll get an ambulance, no I will take you to hospital, no, no, I think I'll get the ambulance', the young guy was so shocked and stressed out that he couldn't think straight, and kept on talking a lot of nonsense, until some or other man asked me if I could stand, and I tried again, without success! My leg was aching like the blazes, but this kind man commandeered the young guy up, and jumping on one leg between them, I managed to make it to a cafe where they got me a coffee.
After a while I tried to stand up again, the pain by then bearable, and I gave thanks to the Lord that nothing was broken, and I could stand up again. I knew I had to get back to the hotel, so the young guy helped me to the busstop, and by the time I reached Callender where my car was parked, I could only feel a dull pain, but I managed to walk okay!
I was lucky that I still had the next day off, as then my leg could rest, as standing for all those hours would have been quite hard.

On my next day off I had to go either to Edinburgh or to Glasgow, as I wanted to put my money in the bank where it would be safe. I was very lucky to have a bank account, and this was made possible when I worked for the old lord and lady Liz, painting and colour washing the walls of the oldest part of their huge house that was built and enlarged a lot over hundreds of years.The old Lord went with me to apply, and his influence worked like magic, for it wasn't long before I got my bank card and cheque book.

I usually left the Panda, that now needed a quick whack on the solenoid with my sun umbrella almost every time I wanted to drive somewhere, in Callender, as it was much easier to take the bus from Stirling to Glasgow or Edinburgh.The parking in Stirling was sometimes a bitty scarce if you are not parked by about seven, when the people taking a train started parking their vehicles.

It was a lovely day, and as usual I enjoyed the people and their peculiarities, and their sometimes strange behaviour.

Waiting at Stirling for the bus, I had decided on Glasgow, the bank much closer to the bus station than in Edinburgh, and also there was a Burger King in the Mall close to the busstop that made the most wonderful potato scones with their breakfast, I again saw the most bizarre people, and that made me think back about one of the funniest incidents I have ever encountered. 

This one young guy, not looking very bright, with a stubby beard from which sweaty drops rolled down his face and onto a huge tape player which he was holding on his shoulder, propped up by his chin, like it was the most precious thing on earth! If that was all, I think nobody would have noticed him amongst all the other weird and wonderful human beings, but from this boombox's innards a very happy Andy Williams was telling the world at the top of his voice about the fact that he belonged to Glasgow, dear old Glasgow town, and that Glasgow belonged to him too.

Everybody was kind of moving away when this poor guy, slowly walking down the row of stops, suddenly started singing with Andy, but if I thought I had a voice from hell, I was mistaken, as this poor young man was absolutely rubbish,

At one of the busstops was sitting a woman that I had noticed some time earlier, and she was dressed in a flowery and very sheer dress that came down to her ankles at the back, but in the front her huge tummy pulled the dress up to just above her two leathery and wrinkled knees!Her hair was lightened to almost milk white, and I suppose from too much bleaching, it was like a bundle of dry straw that she carried on her head, as she had piled this lot high on her head!

I could see that this woman was becoming very agitated with Andy and friend telling the world about their love for Glasgow, and so was self and many of the others, and when she suddenly gave a yelp like hunted dog, I knew that the poor young man was in for a spot of trouble. She almost sprinted up to the man, blew a thick cloud of smoke into his face, and screamed at him to stop his caterwauling. The guy just looked at her with vacant eyes, and I wondered if he was drugged, or maybe just a bit retarded, but the woman had enough and tried to grab the boombox from his shoulders, at which his lethargy suddenly left him, and he flew at the woman with intent to harm! I was sure that the two would started hitting each other, but two bus drivers came running up and had to almost drag the woman into the waiting room, she hissing like a snake, and kicking like a horse, while the young man just went on where he left off when the woman attacked him! Strange!

The tower is at the house where I colourwashed the rooms, but I also painted the inside of this tower in which a circular stairway leads down to the kitchen part. The other photo is of me with the cook, butler and housekeeper, having breakfast.

I came back from my days off feeling on top of the world, having decided that if somebody offered me another job I would take it, as I was not enjoying my work so much anymore. I was grown-up enough to realize that Lorna was just hitting on me because I was  the employee that was in her service the longest, and that was only two months. Her husband was quite lazy, and did not really contributed any energy to the running of the hotel. On the one hand I felt sorry for her, as she worked extremely hard, but also felt for the little cowboy, who had to listen to her ranting him down all day.
The problem was that in order to stay in her good books,the little cowboy joined her in her relentness persecution of the person of the moment, and I could see him sometimes talking to her, and looking my way from time to time, just as they did with the little kitchen porter, and Russel and John. I am definitely not a neorotic person at all, but this was so obvious that I just could not miss it, and knowing the phsycology behind it all scared me a wee bit, so I kept my ears open in case one of the other hotels needed a cook.
Of course Richard must have seen all this the previous year, so he stayed out of Lorna's way as much as possible, sucking up to her something terrible. I couldn't blame him, for Lorna could turn on him quite easily if she realized that all her jibes didn't upset me in the least. It did upset me, but when she says some funny things to me, I started to look her straight in the eye, and give her a sweet smile. She didn't know how to handle this, and my nervous system was suffering badly, but until I had another job I would play my little game.
One evening when Richard and self was on alone, I had already started clearing up when he came into the kitchen and asked me whether I saw my way open to quickly do dinner for two German tourists who had gotten there too late, and as all the other hotels also close at the same time as us, I said that it was okay with me.
The tourists was in no hurry, and ordered a starter, a main meal and a pud, and it was about forty five minutes after my usual time when the last plates came back. I was still okay, but then of course Lorna must have been watching through the window, and seeing me still busy, she rushed into the kitchen, grabbed the heap of order slips, and counted them, a look of utter discontent on her face. When she finished her counting, she threw the order slips down scattering it all over the table and on the floor, and shouted at me: 'Seventeen slips, Christine, PLEASE!' I tried to explain why I was still busy, but she was so enraged at me doing only seventeen orders, and still working, that she wouldn't listen, and that night I got so mad at people only guarding their own interests that I almost clobbered Richard, who stood there, knowing that Lorna might listen to him, but too much of a coward to come to my rescue! Actually, I knew that the couple wanted to stay on after September, but haven't told Lorna yet, and was always talking about my lovely room. They had lodgings in a small cottage only till the end of August when the owners would be back, and desperately needed other living quarters, and I think they hoped that I would leave, leaving my room for their occupation.
So I just kept my calm, smiled sweetly at Lorna and went on with unloading the dishwasher! But that was the end of any friendly feelings I had for Richard.
As during the mornings I was all alone, Lorna and Mary doing the rooms, I could take the stupid abuse that came my way, but my nerves were beginning to fray a wee bit!
However, my adventures during my days off were so fantastic, and I so loved it in Scotland, that I tried to shut myself off when I see the lot of them conversing together, talking softly so that I couldn't hear what was said, and I was now quite cool towards Richard and Katka.

I think Richard and Katka was not a happy couple, as Katka turned out to be a very strange person indeed. Lorna was much enarmoured with her, just as she was with me in the beginning until I was the only one left to take out her frustrations on. It was Katka wee girl all day long and Katka was one happy cookie. But to give the devil it's due, she was a busy worker, if only she would stuck to doing what I asked of her, or more importantly, what was expected of her!
She would forever turn down the stove plates when I wanted something to boil fast, me not having time for dawdling, doing two people's work. I would almost explode when I turn around and found the gas turned down to the lowest mark, and when I asked her what the heck she was up to, she answered me with a kind of smirk, saying that the pot was boiling over. I told her to leave my pots, as she had nothing to do behind my workbench, But sure as heck, she just kept on doing it, until I one day, being heavily pressed for time, told her coldly that if she did that again, I will empty the pot over her head!
Another thing that irritated me immensely was when I was doing plating up, and specially when doing a salad on the plate. I always took two pieces of cucumber, make an incision to the middle of both, and give it a twist to make a nice decoration. This girl who were never where she was supposed to be, would hang around my table, and it would drive me nuts, as every time I put my knife down to finish off the salad with my cucumber thingy, I would find the knife gone when I wanted to cut the cucumber pieces for the next salad! I could not make her see that she did not have to stand waiting for my utensils, and I became extremely irritated, as she started doing it with all my tools, and some times when I was busy and found the things I brought out to work with in the dishwasher, I felt like screaming!
I told her over and over that I would put the stuff I wouldn't need anymore on the side for her to take, but instead of cleaning the stove or the micro waves, and such things, she just kept on hanging around me.
Then she started hanging out in the pub door! She would just stand there, looking boldly at the men sitting at the counter, and would give the ones who took notice of her, this secretive smile. I could see that Richard, who was the barman, was getting a bitty upset, but she did not pay any heed to him telling her not to stand loafing in the pub door.
Then she started wearing the most improper tops for working in a decent hotel, and if she had only stayed in the kitchen where she should have stayed, all would have been well. But she now took it upon herself to grab the glasses that Richard had put into the dishwasher the moment it was finished, and went into the pub, where she would start packing them on the racks right in front of the men at the counter. It was horrible, as her tops would ride up high when she lifted her arms to reach the high shelves, exposing a lot of boob and tummy, and poor Richard became very agitated. Of course she never did this kind of things when Lorna was close by, and I could see that the relationship between her and Richard was a bitty rocky.
But my days off were a joy as ever, and as it was now becoming warm, I went to my beloved glen Lyon , where I regained my equilibrium just loafing around and swimming in my wonderful pond that I of course called Christina's pond.

I have fallen in love, completely and irrevocably! For the first time since I had left my home, and my husband died, I had real feelings of love, thinking that with this man I could spend the rest of my life. This was the man that lived in the flat across from my room, and we soon became friends, and when I found out that he was the author of the nature books I so loved, I was sure that he was put in my way for a reason!
I had now formed a theory about Lorna! She was a hardworking woman, and also a perfectionist, that just could not grasp the fact that other people have brains, and sometimes have even better ways than her own to do things. But that could have been worked around, if her husband was not such a disappointment to her, and I soon realized that the fact of her picking one person and then absolutely terrorising that hapless human being until he or she ran off, was just a kind of release for the antagonism she felt towards the little cowboy that was of so little use to her!
The next person in line, after John, who got the stick after Russel left, stood his ground for a couple of weeks before he also took to his heels, was me!  She started making all kinds of funny remarks in front of Richard and Katka, telling me that I had to work faster, and arrange the food on the plates in a certain way, and a lot of the most stupid things!
What was really strange, was the fact that she never once interfered with my baking and cooking, although to me that was something that had to be perfect to keep the hotel's good name intact, as there is nothing like bad meals to chase people away. She just bitched about where I stood, how I peeled, that I was slow, and so on, but as I was doing her daughter, the head chef's work, plus my own, I just smiled, and when I got upset, I went up to my room after my shift, and drew caricatures at night, and during the day I walked to my loch.
One morning, just before John left, he, Richard and self were talking in the kitchen, about our likes and dislikes of working in hotels. I had only one dislike, and that was to come back at night, after I have done breakfast, lunch, prep, and of course Susan's cooking and baking, and my legs were really tired, to do another five hours. I also stated that as I am a morning person, even if I wasn't so tired, I would still prefer the morning shift, up to lunchtime, and that was that!
The next morning while I was preparing breakfast, Lorna came into the kitchen with a thunderous face and told me shortly that if I had complaints about my work, I should come to her, and not spread my views around the other staff! She then flounced out to see that the diningroom was set for breakfast.
I was flabbergasted, and stood for quite a minute to absorb this bit, my brain trying to work out what on earth she was talking about, but as I had never spread any roumers in the hotel, my brain stayed blank, and I decided to tackle her about that!
It turned out that the conversation between Richard, John and self the previous day, was told to her in a way that showed me as a discontented and tittle-tattling person, but I was shocked to think that Richard or John could so shuffle the facts! As the morning wore on, little things started coming back to me, and I remembered that the little cowboy was in the pub, and could hear every word, so I was wondering if he overheard some of the conversation while looking for his imaginary horse!
As usual I worked off my wrath by doing a caricature, and telling myself that Lorna's wrath was against her little cowboy, and that she was taking out all her discontent with him on the nearest person, and at this point in time, that person was me!

Then we got Katka! Richard, a young student from one of the Eastern block countries and who had worked at the hotel before, phoned to ask whether he could please come back, and bring his girlfriend!
He was very welcome, as when Russel walked out one night, and John not wanting to work every night, it was hard going, with the little cowboy of course nicely sozzled by nine, and unable to deliver the food safely to the diners. I knew Richard, and he was a nice chap, always friendly and talkative, so although I was going to miss Russel and his dry humor, Richard was a good replacement.
One night Russel and self was on, and all was going so well, but of course I saw Lorna's head passing by the kitchen window a few times, neck stretched and watery blue eyes pulled into slits to try and unobstrusively see what we were doing in the kitchen and pub. Russel had just left the kitchen with an armful of plated food, when Lorna burst into kitchen, shouting at the top of her voice: Russel! and then even louder: Russel! As he was busy serving the food, he did not answer immediately, and she then went bally beserk, and went of like a siren, accusing the hapless Russel of smoking yet again outside when the pub was full of people waiting to be served! As the door to the pub lead out of the kitchen, of course every word Lorna screamed out could be heard by the diners and drinkers!
She then stormed outside to have a good go at Russel who of course was busy in the pub, and found the little cowboy, who had had quite a few sessions in the store room with the whiskey bottle,smoking in relative peace, and that pushed her over the edge, and she came back in, her face all twisted with fury! I tried to tell her that Russel was busy delivering food, but she had worked herself up into such a rage that she never heard a thing I said. When Russel came back with some plates, he was not looking his own placid self, and when she turned on him and told him that he was as slow as bloody sewerage water, this good, solid man, whom all the customers loved for his quirky wit, put down the plates, went up to Lorna and told her placidly that he would not be talked to like that, and he was leaving!
I could see that she was put out for a minute, and then she wanted to take his arm to talk things over, knowing full well that Russel was the best barman she would ever have, but after weeks of abuse, Russel was not to be stopped, and walked out calmly, and a few minutes later I heard his car pulled away.
As the little cowboy was by now not in any state to work in the  pub, the old battle ax had to take over, and as Mary was waiting in the pub for her so they could indulge in their nightly ritual of finishing a bottle of white wine, she was not happy at all, as it was still quite early, and there was still a lot of orders to go out.
That was why she was elated when Richard phoned to come back, and as we now didn't have a kitchen porter, she reckoned that the girlfriend could come in very handy.
What she didn't know was that the girlfriend was newly acquired, and when the two of them arrived shortly after Russel had left, we were all a bitty thrown, as this girl was one sexy kitten, wanting to sit at the pub counter at night, not very interested to work, but very interested to talk to the men! I could see that the poor Richard was very put out, and he had a serious talk with her after Lorna told him that if his girlfriend did not want to work, she would have to leave. All this was stressful and some nights after work I walked to Loch Voile, where I always got my equilibrium back.

Saturday came, and I was waiting in vain for my little kitchen porter to come in, as I had a lot of cooking and baking to do, as the previous day and night was extremely busy, and there was as yet no sign of Susan, Lorna's daughter and the head of the kitchen, who was supposed to do all the baking and cooking while I did meals from eleven onwards, when the tourists began to stop for breakfast or a snack.
I was over my head by the time lunchtime came, and was feeling a wee bit antagonistic when Lorna came to tell me that Susan was held up, and could I do as much of the cooking as possible! As I knew by now that Susan was held up almost every day, I fumed for a while, but luckily I had done almost everything before eleven, so I finished off the baked puddings, and  a lasagne of which I had made the bolognese earlier, while the little cowboy brought in one order after the other from the pub!
Finished with the rooms that she and Mary did every morning, Lorna came to a dead standstill on seeing the state of the kitchen, and stood looking at me as if I was the world's biggest lazy-bones, and demanded in that irritatingly thin voice whether I liked to work in a pigsty, and then asked me where the young kitchen porter was! I felt the hair at the back of my neck bristling, and looking at her Hanny Haleluja feet planted in that kind of in-toe position. I was on the verge of walking out, but as the boys at the Munro Inn had now already employed another cook, I knew that I just had to stay if I wanted to stay in Scotland, as all of the jobs I could get on coming back had been filled.By the way, we call somebody that plays holier than holy, and being always right, Hanny Haleluja Voetjies! (feet)
I worked quite late to finish all the jobs, and wondered what happened to the 'head' of the kitchen, a fact that Lorna kept on reminding me of, but this chef was quite invisible, and only arrived in a dust cloud every Friday and Saturday night to do the dinners, and took all the honors when the waiters came back with compliments! And that she did without a flush of cheek or a sign of discomfort, knowing full well that she had not made one of the dishes that had to be prepared beforehand! And as her assistant I fried the steaks, the venison medallions, cooked the salmon steaks, and as a matter of fact, I did most of the actual cooking, while she did the chips, the veggies and the deep fried fish, the warming up of the pies and stuff like lasagne and spaghetti. But she was a nice girl, and dished up much nicer than me, and we worked well together, as she learned quickly that I was well aquainted with the cooking thing.
My ex toy- boy was a regular patron of this hotel, and sat at the bar in the pub from where he could see me working, and as we were still very good friends, it was a nice feeling to know that he really liked me, and if I was a few years younger, I think things could have worked out nicely for us! But he was young and wanted a family, and had met a lovely girl, and they were planning to get married in the near future.
The landscape picture shows the wonderful view from the kitchen window.

That night Yankee John and self was on, and as always, I loved working with him, as he was very helpful, and whenever he could be of help when it was a busy night, he jumped in and made things a lot easier for me by stacking the dishwasher, and putting it on so that I did not have all the dishes to wash afterwards.
Lorna just never trusted anybody, and would skulk up and down in front of the windows, seemingly walking the dogs, but I had to smile at her neck that was stretched to full capacity to try and see if I was actually working!
I was still upset about her telling me how to stand to peel potatoes, and during my rest I had made a very nice caricature to get rid of my anger, something that had always worked for me.
Anyways, if

something did not look right to her she would barge in and without asking for an explanation, just let rip with her unruly tongue. After the potato saga she left me alone, but the young boy working to buy himself a computer was fast loosing his nerve. I admired him, as for someone that young he was taking a lot of stress, but I was afraid that Lorna's jumping onto him for reasons known only to herself was taking it's toll, as he had become like a wee shadow, and I missed his little jokes and pranks that he used to play on me. But he was a good worker, and to me it was a mystery as to why she was so onto his case all the time.
Anyway, the night with me and John, Lorna was again walking up and down, and inbetween this the little cowboy would sail into the kitchen as silent as a mouse, and disappear into the small store room, where of course I knew his secret bottle was hid, and came out looking as guilty as anything, mumbling about looking for something or other that went missing.
As the night wore on, he became as happy as a lark, and even gave me a wide, quite lecherous grin that made me want to laugh at the pure audacity gained from a few drams!
It was a busy night, but all ran smoothly, and John and self had time for some talking and laughing, and it was during one of our short periods of talking while he waited for me to dish up two plates of food that Lorna, supposedly seeing us laugh through the window and thinking that we were neglecting our duties, rushed into the kitchen, her face a picture of righteousness and wrath!
John had just come back with some dirty plates and was stacking the dishwasher at that moment, and when Lorna spotted him, her cup spilled over and she demanded in an icy voice what he was doing in the scullery when he had people waiting to be served. John came out, and told her that everybody was served, so he quickly stacked the plates he brought back, as it was busy foodwise, and I did not get enough time to do it. He also stated that everybody was served, and he was going back in a minute!
Lorna was not to be appeased, and asked him, still in a voice sounding very thin and cold enough to freeze the sun, whether she employed him as a barman or a kitchen porter! John, who is one of the world's good and even tempered people, just smiled, and without answering her, went back into the bar, taking the wind out of the raging woman's sails completely!
The little cowboy, not realizing that his wife was in the kitchen, came waltzing gaily into the kitchen, the drams he so quickly downing in the store room having had a good effect on his usually morose personality, and he was so intent on finding his way straight to the store room, that he never saw his embittered wife standing watching me do the meals with an eagle eye! He was half way across the kitchen when she saw him and let out a strangled oath, and the poor man had such a shock that he just stood frozen for a few seconds before he started laughing! A nervous, horsy laugh that he wasn't able to contain, and I was wondering whether it was him or his imaginary horse neighing away!
By this time Lorna had enough of loafing employees and drunken hubbies, and she literally grabbed the poor little cowboy by the ear and pulled him from the kitchen. I had a lot of sympathy with him, as I wondered what on earth she would do to him when they reached their flat!

The first little flaw in my new world came one morning as I was doing prep, and stood contentedly in front of the washing up sinks, peeling potatoes. It was just after my wonderful days off, and I was wonderfully happy, as the second of my days were beautiful and clear, and after my breakfast I had spent the rest of the day driving around and finding some new spots for me to have a picnic or sleep over, and I was softly singing an old Afrikaans song, all at one with the world, when Lorna came in, followed by the little cowboy, dressed to kill, or rather dressed for herding cattle on his imaginary horse, but the effect was spoiled by Lorna's angry voice scolding him for something he did wrong again. On seeing me she stopped dead in her tracks, looked at me with disbelieve, before announcing in an icy voice: 'That is not the way to peel potatoes in my kitchen!' This time I looked at her in disbelieve, as to my way of thinking there are two ways of peeling tatties, the one way is with a knife, the other with a peeler, exactly as I was doing.
'Please put the bucket into the sink, and peel into that, because you are making a mess!' Now, I am a tall woman, and the sinks were meant for stone age people who grew no higher that maybe five feet if they were lucky, and for me to stand bent over this sink for hours while peeling veggies was out of the question!
The little cowboy was now looking much happier, as he was for the moment out of the firing range, and he stood there nodding his head in agreement, making appropriate noises.
I was really flabbergasted, as the peels were all inside the bucket, and as far as I could see there was no mess, apart from the bucket on the sink. So I tried to keep my cool, and in a faked friendly voice I said: 'But Lorna, I don't leave the peels for you or anybody else to clean up, so I can't really see your point', at which she almost lost her temper, and told me shortly that in her kitchen things were done the correct way, before flouncing out again, the cowboy at her heels.
I went on peeling into the bucket, as I was adamant to have this sorted, and fast, as I am not a child, and I would not allow anybody to talk to me like that. After my shift was finished I went to her office, and very calmly told her that as I am so tall, I could not see my way open to stand bent over the low sinks, and if she expected me to do that, I had no other option than to leave.
She had a bit of a fright, as cooks were hard to come by, and as it was, I was doing most of the baking and cooking by now. I could see that it was hard for her to give in, but I held her watery gaze, as I actually had been offered another job, and if I had known that the other hotel In Strathyre wanted me, I would have gone there. But I just don't leave people in the middle of a season knowing how scarce sober cooks were, so I went up to my room and did a caricature of self bending over the sink!

The weather was lovely, and on my first day off I took packed my Panda, and set off to my beloved glen Lyon, where I was to spend the night on the banks of the river. It is a wild area, with nothing but me and the water dancing over the rocks, and the lovely mountain. Climbing down is not easy, as it is very steep, and full of muddy holes, the terrain quite boggy. This is of course where Liz and self had such a horrific night with the killer midges trying to have us for their dinner, when the small tent collapsed in the middle of the night, leaving us to the mercy of this tiny bloodsuckers!
But in the meantime I had become much more clever, and when I found a South African mosquito spray at a small shop next to the new hotel called 'The Wee Minden', meaning small present shop, I was over the moon, as we have real vicious mosquitoes at home and this stuff called Tabbard, is a master killer!
From then on I had no trouble keeping this little monsters out, as I sprayed all around the inside of the tent opening, and of course, I was covered from head to toe! Luckily it has quite a nice smell, but I don't think a smell would deter me from using it.
Every year so far, on putting back the Panda's battery, it started immediately, but this year it just refused to start, and after trying for ages, I phoned an old man who was known for being able to do anything and fix anything. He looked, and he hmmmed, and haaa-d and said that the solenoid was a bitty spent, but, he said, if I don't want to spend money, I can just poke it with a stick, and it should work. He then poked it with a sun umbrella that I had won at a fair, and I turned the key, and voila!, the engine sprang to life, and off I went, after being shown just where the solenoid was situated!
It was still cold at night, and I was almost frozen into a human lolly, but at least the midges were not out yet.
But after a breakfast of barbequed sausages, bacon, fried tomatoes and toast, I was soon defrosted, and after clearing up I went up the mountain where I met a huge deer bull, who did not look kindly upon my disturbing his peaceful grazing, and as I have heard that the bull's could be quite vicious, I made a hasty retreat, and crossed the river for safety.
At the hotel things were kind of okay, but I did not find Lorna as nice as my previous employers, not that she treated me badly, but she was not allowing any initiative, as I found when the previous morning I had cut the carrots into strips instead of just chopping it up into rounds. She came into the kitchen, stopped short when she saw the heap of strippy carrots, looked at me in amazement, then told me that in her hotel, carrots were chopped up into rounds!
She was a strange person, as she never moaned about bigger issues, and as I was doing most of the baking and cooking by the end of my first week, and waiting for criticism that never came, I decided to just take things in my stride, and keep to her way of doing things, but I must say, it was not very exciting!
She was still making things very difficult for the young boy, and I admire his resolve in sticking out her really bad behaviour, just so he could earn money for a computer.
Yankee John, the American guy helping out some nights were really nice, and he would stack the dishwasher for me when things were a bit quiet in the pub, and I was grateful to him, as on week nights the two of us, or me and Russel were mostly alone when it wasn't busy. But Lorna just did not trust anybody, and she would skulk passed the windows at regular intervals, stretching her neck to try and see if we were doing our jobs!